Craving Oblivion
by Beccatdemon13
Summary: They say home is where the heart is. Maybe that’s why I’m so messed up, I never truly had either.
1. How It Was

**Craving Oblivion**

By: Beccatdemon13

©2008

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anyone except for Madeleine Rose Darley, as well as anyone you don't immediately recognize. Please don't sue. You'd only be getting about seven weeks of minimum wage. What? Don't look at me like that High School ain't a paying gig you know. But god I wished it was. Beccatdemon13 now will go off to fantasize about being paid to go to school. Oh, right, the story! On we go…

**Synopsis: **They say home is where the heart is. Maybe that's why I'm so messed up, I never truly had either. I couldn't have a heart when I have murderers for family members. Where the drug industry is just the family business. Where I've seen people murdered for everything under the sun. I didn't really have a home either. Yeah, I lived in an apartment with my two older brothers but I never truly felt safe, even though my brothers' were right down the hall. Maybe that's part of the reason why I slept with a knife under my pillow. Now-a-days South Boston's run by Billy Darley, a ruthless gang lord ruling most of Boston's underground with cutthroat efficiency. Most people viewed Billy as terrifying but to me he was just my big brother. My revenge seeking, drug dealing, intimidating, big brother.

**Author's Note:** I just saw Death Sentence and liked it almost immediately. It was a little violent (not that I didn't expect it) but the overall movie was awesome. Garrett Hedlund was brilliant seeing how I had just seen him as Jack Mercer only a few weeks ago that's quite a 180. I hope that I'm writing the character of Billy Darley the right way. I mean it was obvious he cared about Joe a lot so he wouldn't be overly harsh with his little brother but still wasn't all nurturing either. I hope I found the happy medium and if I didn't feel free to tell me so I can right the character right. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story. Also please know that this story will have **heavy cursing, drug use, underage drinking, self mutilation, and there may be sex**, who knows? Just keep these warning in mind. Thank you. Also there are pictures of Maddie and her tattoos on my profile page.

**Chapter One: How It Was**

_The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn_

Boston's underworld, the inner city, was a dangerous place. Hell, Boston at night was dangerous, period. That was probably the reason why I was currently running my ass off trying to slip the person who was running directly behind me. God damn my smart mouth was always getting me into trouble. Thankfully I only had a few more blocks to go before I reached salvation in the form of my brother's bar, the Four Roses.

I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Madeleine Rose Darley. Most people called me Maddie, Mads, or in rare instances Rose. Those rare instances are few and far in between saved for special times of mourning or when my brothers actually had their guards down. I'm eighteen years old with light brown hair and dark green eyes. My body was lithe and small considering I only stood at about five foot four. I had a dark, black tribal tattoo stretching over my right hip. The tattoo was interesting because it was the gang's mark, the same gang I wasn't allowed to be apart of. But I think Billy realized he couldn't keep me away forever so ta-da, tattoo!

The most interesting thing was my relationship with my family. First things first, my sperm-donor of a father, Bones Darley. Mother fucker was more ruthless than he was fat and trust me that was bad. I didn't think of Bones as my father none of us did. He kept us within business as long as he we brought him business that was all he ever wanted us for.

My brothers were far more important to me than my fat fuck of a father anyway. My oldest brother was the one and only Billy Darley. He was one of the most ruthless gang lords in all of Boston. He was powerful, intense, and raw. His greenish hazel eyes were expressive to say the least. You know exactly what he was thinking with just one glance. Billy was a natural born leader, he knew how to intimidate, how to control and be in control. Even though, Billy was my brother he could be intimidating as hell towering over me at six foot two. He had broad shoulders and a shaved head, very close to his scalp. Billy had his own set of tribal tattoos, which only seemed to add to his intensity. Billy was the leader of the gang called the _Merchants of Death_, MOD for short. They were known as one of the more ruthless gangs in South Boston and their territory was massive, didn't make things any less dangerous, though. Joe was my other brother. He was nearly twenty three years old and had short brown hair. Joe was on the outskirts of the MOD at the present moment. Although Billy was the leader he wasn't about to cut corners and let Joe fully in until he did the initiation. Billy also thought that Joe wasn't ready for the gang life still drawing attention to himself for fighting and stuff. And as for me? Both Billy and Joe refused to let me into the inner workings of the MOD no matter what. Doesn't it suck to be the youngest? I mean gang life is nothing glamorous. It's dangerous, a kill or be killed world but I wasn't as naïve as other people thought. I could hold my own. I had been taught from a young age to hold my own.

I felt the man behind me speed up as I groaned forcing myself to up the speed. You know what? That's exactly what I got for trying to help my brothers out. My father was far malicious to them then he was to me. So, what if I snuck into the 'office' and stole supplies only to give them to local drug dealers then collect sixty percent of the profits? The only reason why I did this was because the MOD answered to Billy and he answered to our father. Bones was the one who gave them the blocks to run and he expected compensation, so I helped. The man who was currently chasing me was one of my dealers and wasn't happy about the profit margins, he also didn't believe that I was Billy Darley's sister. He was gonna get a nasty shock because I was only a block away from the Four Roses. The Four Roses wasn't originally Billy's bar, the MOD just took it over and that as they say is history.

"Get back here, you little thieving bitch!" The man shouted.

"Fuck you!" I shouted.

I felt a bullet whiz past me. Shit, this situation just got more dangerous. I groaned as I fought to grab my own gun flicking the safety off and firing it backwards. By the grunt that followed the bullet either hit him or was too close for comfort.

"Yeah, take that mother fucker!" I whooped.

I saw the sign for the Four Roses and grinned when one of the bastard's stray bullets hit the metal door. While it didn't go through it made a decent thud sound instantly drawing attention from those inside. At least that's what I gathered from the sudden rise in voices. The man didn't back off though. He kept running after me, which meant he either didn't know what part of town he was in or was too angry to care.

It was then I came to the frightening realization. If my family, which was what the MOD really was, came out here they would wonder what I was doing, and if there was a reason why this guy was chasing me. That meant if they were wondering what I was doing, then they'd ask Joe who would then ask Billy. Then there would be all sorts of problems. Mainly the fact that I broken Billy's rules, and he really wasn't the person to disobey. I wasn't suppose to even know where the office was, let alone be selling the drugs they're making. Even if I was helping Billy just wouldn't see it that way. He'd see it, as insubordination and I'd be fucking followed or chained to Joe and Billy so that I couldn't get in trouble again.

As soon as the Four Roses door banged open I ducked around the alleyway. I heard banging around as Bodie, Heco, and Spink started yelling at the guy. I winced when I heard a fight begin before shouting of, _"Yeah that's right! You better run!" _That was one crisis diverted. I wouldn't be using that guy again, that was for sure. The door to the Four Roses shut once more and I peeled myself off the brick wall going in through the door that had just shut. It was almost as though there hadn't been a fight just moments ago. All of the MOD was around playing pool, smoking, and drinking.

"You were supposed to be here two hours ago," Jerry the bartender scolded setting done a water bottle for me.

"Miss me, Jerry?" I teased lightly. He was older than most of the other MOD members around. He was actually one of my father's friends who were nice. And those were few and far in between believe me.

"You know Billy doesn't like it when you're late," Jerry sighed.

"He noticed?" I asked.

"Not here yet, Mads," Jerry responded. "You're lucky by the way. Some punk just came through he actually shot the place. That's why Billy wants you back around one in the morning at least."

"I don't even go school anymore," I complained. "I got my GED two years ago."

Getting a GED was a lot better than going to one of the fine public schools Boston's inner city had to offer, trust me. Still I knew Billy had a point things were more unmasked at night that's where more gang killings happened where more drug deals went down. Of course he wouldn't want me in that kind of situation. It was sweet, actually. For as violent and intimidating as most of my family was they never wanted me involved with this part of their life. Billy was more of a father than Bones ever was making sure I had a home, a place to sleep, and an education. He didn't want me to have the life he led.

"Where've you been?" Joe asked dropping down in the seat next to me.

"No where important," I shrugged.

"Bull shit," Joe growled. "You're late again too. Billy is gonna _love_ this."

"He's also gonna _love_ someone not doing what they're supposed to," I threatened.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Joe snapped.

"Sure you don't, Joey," I smirked. "Where's Billy?"

"Running the corner," Joe sighed.

I drank my water watching people playing pool and laughing. I felt Joe fidget next to me and really looked at him. He seemed nervous about something. The way he kept glancing at the door as though waiting for Billy to bust in pissed as hell.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What?" Joe questioned. "What would be wrong? Nothing's wrong."

"Joey, you keep glancing at the door as if Billy is gonna come in with a good reason to be pissed off," I explained.

"Do not," Joe stated.

Before I could even say anything the door banged open slamming against the wall with a crack. Billy strode through the door like a man resolved. I watched him knowing that malevolent look in his eye didn't bode well. I winced as he stopped right in front of Joe and I glaring down at him. He passed the canvas bag where the earnings of the night were kept to me so that he could fold his arms and glare down at our brother.

"H-hi, Billy," Joe whispered.

"You got something you'd like to tell me?" Billy demanded.

"Uh…" Joe hesitated.

"Look me in the eye when you're talking to me," Billy ordered. "And answer my _fucking_ question."

"I…uh," Joe began.

"Really?" Billy nodded sarcastically. "Because I have something to tell you."

"Billy, maybe we should have this conversation at home," I suggested.

"Quiet, Maddie, I'll get to you in a minute," Billy growled.

I instantly silenced the look he sent me did not spell good things. But what could he know? Or better yet what had he seen? I leaned back against the bar looking in between my brothers. Joe was trying to look tough and act uninterested as Billy glared down at him but just couldn't help the little ticks that signaled he rather be anywhere else but here.

"You haven't been working," Billy growled. "Third day this week, Joe."

"I'm sorry," Joe sighed.

"Really?" Billy asked, "Because in case you forgot we're actually supposed to be making a profit. How do we do that when you're not working too?"

"I'm sorry," Joe repeated.

"Go, and work, Joey, now," Billy ordered. "And stop taking from the supplies. You think you're Heco or some shit?"

"Sorry," Joe muttered shrugging into his red leather jacket striding out the side entrance of the bar.

I watched after my brother knowing that he was going to the spot under the bridges where they sold most of the drugs. Well, sold their share of the drugs, that is.

"Come on, we're going home," Billy ordered.

"It's only one thirty," I complained.

"Excuse me?" Billy asked.

"Never mind," I sighed.

"Wait for me by the door," Billy replied.

Before I could even reply, Billy was already moving towards Heco, Tommy, Bodie, and Dog. I growled at annoyance in getting left out at whatever business plans they were making. Wait, what was I complaining for? I could put the money I earned from my night into the bag now. I slipped in the rolls of fifties that I had gathered from my dealers, turning my back so that the bag was shielded by my body.

I gasped when a hand came down on my shoulder. Instantly scolding myself for letting someone sneak up behind me. I looked up to see it was only Joe, who was looking at me from narrowed eyes.

"What?" I snapped shrugging out of his embrace.

"What do you think you're doing?" Joe demanded.

"Nothing," I retorted.

"Don't look like nothing," Joe shrugged.

"What's it to you anyway?" I asked. "You're supposed to be working now."

"I will in a couple of minutes," Joe rolled his eyes. "I have to talk to Billy first."

"Doesn't everyone," I muttered.

Joe shot me a warning look before moving forward to talk to Billy. When Billy pulled Joe away from the rest of the group I got worried. What did Joe have to tell Billy that was so important that the rest of the MOD couldn't know? I shivered when both Joe and Billy looked at me. The phrase if looks could kill passed through my head and I quickly shoved it away. Joe had seen me shoving money into the canvas bag that was pretty bad. But what else could have happened. More importantly what did Billy want to talk to me about? The longer they talked the more nervous I became before I quickly turned on my heel and tried to leave the bar unnoticed.

"_Sit_ down, Madeleine," Billy ordered. The warning in his tone undeniable. That and he had used my full name, which was another major warning sign. Most people winced in sympathy at the tone of voice Billy had used but after living with him since I was born I was use to most of his tones and most definitely his anger. Not that it made it any less terrifying.

I growled in annoyance but sat down regardless. I rested by head on the canvas bag just wanting to go home and sleep. I don't know how much longer time passed before Joe walked by me smacking me upside the head as he finally went out to run the corners. I looked around for Billy and jumped when his hand suddenly appeared right next to me.

"Let's go," Billy growled.

I didn't bother saying anything as I followed Billy out to his car. His long leather coat billowed behind him, which only seemed to add to his presence. I climbed into the black mustang with red tribal symbols on the side. I closed the door wincing, as Billy slammed his own door before gunning the engine and flooring it out of the parking lot.

Our apartment wasn't anything special. It was mostly abandoned, which is how the entire MOD was in the same apartment complex. We had the biggest one at two bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, and a bathroom. It wasn't a McMansion but it was home. Billy cut the engine in front of the apartment hovering by the car to make sure that I got out. I lifted myself out of the car moving slower then was absolutely necessary. Billy glared at me and I increased my speed walking with him all the way up the stairs and into our apartment. The door slammed behind me as Billy stepped inside.

"Got something you'd like to fucking tell me?" Billy demanded cornering me against the wall. A hand on either side of my head.

"No," I replied. I knew it was a bad answer but I wasn't about to self incriminate, no fucking way.

"Good girl," Billy praised. However, it wasn't really praise he knew why I wasn't about to own up to him but it didn't make him any less angry. "You wanna hear what I heard?"

"Okay," I whispered looking down to the ground.

"Don't fucking do that," Billy snapped. "You look at me."

I looked back up. Forgetting that Billy always did hate it when people avoided eye contact. Made it a hell of a lot easier to lie that way.

"I heard that you were dealing," Billy growled. "I heard that you were outsourcing our stuff. Even though, I specifically told you not to."

I looked at my brother's piercing green eyes knowing that what he had confronted me with was real and also knowing that he wouldn't have mentioned it if he didn't have solid proof. Billy wasn't naïve don't get me wrong. He just tended to turn a blind eye to where his younger siblings actions were concerned. I think Billy still thought of me as the little six year old who didn't know how to fire a gun let alone organize a little underground drug ring right in MOD territory.

"You did manage to deal under the radar for a while, Maddie." Billy continued. "Hell, you didn't even make a real slip-up until tonight. Well, two slip-ups technically."

I grimaced calculating what mistakes I could've made. When I realized it and I nearly hit myself. How could I have been so stupid?

"You gave me the bag on purpose." I growled. "You sent Joey out only to send him back in so that I'd think it was the perfect opportunity to transfer the money."

"Smart girl," Billy grinned. "You also were followed by one of those dealers…Jamie saw you called me and the rest of the guys because you were running in the direction of the bar."

"Son of a bitch," I muttered.

"Listen to me," Billy ordered. "No more."

"But Billy," I protested.

"_Maddie_," Billy warned.

"I'm just trying to help," I whined knowing that it wasn't one of my better ideas to argue with my brother. Especially when he was glaring at me like that.

"It's too dangerous for you to help!" Billy yelled at me.

"Bones is finally somewhat satisfied with the money being produced," I retorted. "You need me."

"No," Billy snapped. "You're not getting involved in this. Where did you even find where we kept the drugs?"

"I followed Joe one day," I sighed. Knowing that answer was going to get me in even deeper trouble. My brothers hated it when I snuck around, mostly because I was good at it. And also because I found out things they didn't want me knowing whenever I did. "Not even that the institution is almost right behind this apartment complex," I continued.

The MOD were smart they hid their cars behind the institution so the place still looked abandoned. The building was in some seriously bad shape keeping people out also. Not to mention people didn't fuck around on Billy Darley's territory, not unless you wanted to die in a very violent way. Still they couldn't keep secrets from a girl who has been around most of these people their entire life. Sure all the members had their little poker faces but I knew them well enough to know when they were lying with me. Not that they could be mad at me they could read me just as well.

"I told you to stay away from there!" Billy yelled at me his hand banging against the wall right by my head.

"I was just trying to help," I grumbled.

"No, you're just trying to get involved," Billy, corrected. "And I'm telling you to cut it the fuck out."

"I was just trying to make things easier for you!" I shouted.

Before I could even blink Billy's hands were wrapped around my throat lifting me up a couple of inches until I was eye to eye with my suddenly irate older brother. Looks like I shouldn't have pushed my luck any further. My hands were clutching at his wrists trying to get him off of me. But there was nothing I could do my back was pressed tightly against the wall and my legs were dangling uselessly above the ground. I knew that I could probably kick him and he'd hopefully let me go but I wasn't sucidal.

"Listen and listen well, little girl," Billy growled. "I don't want you dealing. Joe doesn't want you dealing. And Bones would rip everyone a new asshole if he even thought his baby girl touched this shit. Consider this you're last warning stop it before I stop it for you. Do you understand me?"

I nodded my head in acceptance just praying that he'd let me go. Billy would never really hurt me. Of course with his hands around my throat you might think otherwise, but I could breathe. I was just startled, which was exactly what Billy was aiming for. Once he saw that I was relenting he let me go. I slid down the wall rubbing my throat still feeling his hands around me. It could've been a lot worse and I knew that. Billy stood above me looking down at me with a neutral expression. I winced when he bent down and picked me back up.

"I'm sorry, Billy," I whispered. "I just thought that if we were making more money Bones wouldn't be such and asshole to you guys."

"Bones will always be an asshole," Billy smirked. "Get some sleep, Mads."

"When will Joe be home?" I asked.

"I'm going to call him now," Billy soothed.

I nodded my head before retreating down the hallway towards my room. Well, it was technically Joe's room as well. There were two beds on either side of the wall and we each had our own dressers. The room wasn't big but it gave the both of us more space, which was a good thing. No matter how annoyed or pissed off Billy seemed to get Joe and I always managed to fight at least a couple times a week. It was just what we did. Billy was accepting of it as long as we didn't get physical, draw attention to ourselves on the street, or wake him up. Granted Joe and I always ended up getting physical, normally with me ending up pinned to the floor pissed as hell before Billy finally broke us up.

I was half asleep when my cell phone went off vibrating against my nightstand. I groaned before pressing the talk button and holding it to my ear.

"This better be fucking good," I growled.

"You owe me money, bitch," A distorted voice hissed.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I yelled. "Man fuck you! You agreed to the deal not my fault you're suddenly unhappy."

"Maddie, you want to give me that money," The voice replied.

"Oh, really?" I laughed. "Why's that?"

"Because I got so much dirt on your family that you all could go away for a long, long time." The voice snickered.

"Where are you?" I fought to control my voice.

"Meet me at the corner of third and 88th street," The voice growled before disconnecting.

I shrugged back into my leather jacket and tied my shoe laces together. I reached over grabbing my Beretta before opening the fire escape window. I climbed down the side of the building without hesitation taking off in the direction of third and 88th. One thing was for certain this asshole wasn't living past tonight. I wiped the random doubts out of my head including the biggest: I had never actually killed anyone before. I gulped steeling myself as I walked under the street light on the two intersecting streets.

As the person who threatened my family began to turn I tackled him into the ground. He grunted as all one hundred twenty five pounds slammed into his mid section. Once I made contact I hit him as hard as I could as many times as I could before he flipped me off of him. I hit the ground with a sickening thud, my head ricocheting off the pavement like a bouncy ball. I groaned as he punched me in the cheek and then growled when he picked me up by my shirt throwing me into a nearby wall before pinning me there.

"Where's my money?" The man growled.

Instead of an answer I spat at him. The spit smacking him right in the eye. He groaned loosing his hold on me. I kicked him backwards and he fell onto the pavement. He took a knee just looking at me. I breathed deeply sneaking a hand to the back of my pants where my Beretta was waiting. I tugged it out and put it off of safety as I held the man's eye contact.

"That was the dumbest move you'll ever make," The man hissed. "I'm going to kill your brothers and then just for fun I'll kill you. I'm going to dest…"

I would never know what exactly the man was going to do because as he ranted, standing up slowly I fired a single shot that lodged right in the bastard's throat. His eyes popped as he fell to his knees. Blood began to pour and I felt physically ill. But I couldn't turn my eyes away from all that blood. I knew that no one would hear that bullet. Billy didn't raise no fool all my guns had silencer attachments.

I stooped down next to the twitching body of what would have been one of my best drug dealer associates. "That's what you get when you threaten a Darley, you son of a bitch!" I hissed kicking out of foot catching him in the ribs.

"Maddie?" Someone gasped.

I turned around and saw that it was Joe. Of course, he would be walking home this way from the corner that he was assigned. It was the fastest way home. Seeing the shock on my older brother's face weakened my resolve and any anger I felt towards the person at my feet suddenly vanished. Oh, my god. What had I done?


	2. Shattering

**Chapter Two: Shattering**

_"Bitterness imprisons life, love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life, love empowers it. Bitterness sours life, love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life, love heals it. Bitterness blinds life, love anoints its eyes." – Harry Emerson Fosdick_

I had actually shot someone. Not accidentally but went out and shot him in the neck. I had taken away someone's life because he had threatened my family. As soon as my finger tugged the trigger I realized that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do in order to protect them. Maybe that's what had my heart jumping up into my throat. The ability in recognizing that this was a whole new world that I had just entered as soon as that trigger was pulled. Despite my rationalizing for the shot I felt incredibly guilty. That in and of itself made things worse. I knew that Billy or even Joe wouldn't have hesitated; they wouldn't have felt guilty either. The one thing none of them had expected was me. They didn't expect this from me that was clear from the stunned look on Joe's face.

"Maddie, what happened?" Joe demanded roughly grabbing my shoulders and shaking them slightly.

"He threatened us," I muttered. "All of us."

"Did you tell Billy this?" Joe asked.

"No," I mumbled.

"You didn't tell him?" Joe barked. "Jesus Christ, Mads. Don't you think this is something he'd wanna know?"

"It was late," I protested. "I didn't wanna bother him."

"Word of advice," Joe sighed, "don't use that excuse when Billy and the others get here," he grimaced. "Fucking stubborn is what you are."

Joe lit one of his cigarettes that he kept in his pockets with shaking hands. He took a shallow drag before offering it up to me. I took it from him taking in a deeper drag before passing it back. I made the mistake of looking down. My eyes grazed off the pavement taking in the body that was only a few feet from where Joe and I stood. I felt queasy as blood continued to pour, my brothers were trying their damnedest to keep me safe but I just kept throwing myself in the line of fire. What the hell was I doing? Trying to fight the protection they offered? Or just trying to show them that as much as I needed them I could take care of myself as well?

I didn't want to be here anymore. Not under this shadow lit street corner with a dead body only a few feet away. A body of the person I had murdered. I wanted to cry as I looked at the blood that was seemingly everywhere. I felt sick there was also a huge part of me that wanted to break down completely. But that could wait until I was back at the apartment. The familiar twin roar of two mustangs jostled me out of my reverie. Both of aforementioned vehicles skidded to a stop right in front of Joe and I. Billy got out of the black mustang while Bodie and Spink jumped out of the red one.

"Someone wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?" Billy snapped. When neither Joe nor I spoke.

He glanced down at the body and then looked over at my hand. I was still holding the gun and didn't even notice until Billy was looking over at it. I didn't speak as I slid to the left and let Billy get a full glimpse of the body. Bodie and Spink looked just as shocked as Billy did. I wordlessly offered my gun up to Billy. He took it clicking on the safety and putting it in the back of his jeans.

"Spink, call Heco; tell him to bring down some weed," Billy ordered. "It'll look like a drug deal gone sour. Police won't investigate further than that."

"We're on gang territory, Billy," Joe whispered. "Our gang."

"I know where we fucking are," Billy growled. "Which means they won't care even less. You think any of those fucks actually give a shit if we live or die?"

Billy had a valid point druggies and drug dealers were murdered all the time. It happened everyday in South Boston. They wouldn't investigate anything unless they wanted to be constantly working.

I could feel Billy's gaze even though I still wasn't looking at him or anyone. My eyes were still on the ground blinking back tears that were getting harder to keep at bay. The man's eyes were still open; surprise and accusation shining clear. Okay, now I really was gonna be sick. I spun in a half circle, falling to my knees, as I retched into the sewer. It happened again and then again before I finally rested my forehead on the asphalt. I had felt someone behind me after the first time I got sick. I felt them rubbing my back and generously holding my hair away from my face.

"Let's go home," Billy whispered once he was sure that I had stopped.

He helped me stand up and escorted me over to his car gently placing me into the passenger seat. The door shut and I watched Billy talk to Joe, Bodie, Spink, and the just arriving Heco. They were talking for a few minutes before Billy turned and climbed into the mustang.

He glanced over at me squeezing my shoulder in comfort. As the car started and began to move I could still feel Billy gaze at me from time to time. I was shaking unable to get the sight of the body spread eagle out of my mind. I could see that my brother was concerned the way he drove less recklessly then normal and just tried to keep calm.

When the mustang came to a stop. I ripped open the car door falling out of the car and throwing up once more. Yeah, you know what? I probably had thrown up everything I had eaten in the past day alone. I groaned popping some mints to get rid of the taste. Billy was right next to me before I could blink. He had come running as soon as I had fallen out of the car. He moved slowly towards me picking me up and carrying me bridal style straight to our apartment. He unlocked and opened the door, kicking it shut behind him as walked into our small living room. He placed me on the couch before walking into the kitchen. When I heard the refrigerator door open I walked into my room.

After I had changed back into a sweatshirt and boy shirts; I went into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. I looked at my reflection and knew that my appearance was just as bad as how I felt. My eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot. I also looked ten times paler than normal. Basically I looked dreadful.

Every time my eyes closed I saw the body on the ground, blood framing his head like some eerie halo. I groaned my eyes snapping open. If this was going to haunt me then I don't think I was going to last very long to be honest. A sudden rush of anger came swelling up to the surface. The bastard had threatened my family. He had hit me I only defended myself. Growling low in my throat my fist shot out towards the mirror. The glass shattered on impact with a startling crack.

I crawled over and leaned against one of the bathroom's walls before sliding down to the floor. I sniffled slightly wiping my eyes. I was surprised when my hand came back wet. Before I knew it I was sobbing hard. Great body wracking sobs that shook my entire frame. My head was buried into my knee as I tormented myself with flashbacks. My tears stung the open cuts on my face from the fight earlier, which only seemed to make the tears pour faster. There was glass everywhere. All over the floor, in the sink, and most importantly all over me. The back of my right hand had opened up but that was to be expected when you punch a mirror. The rest were just minor cuts from where the mirror had scratched.

Billy threw open the bathroom door standing in the threshold. His breathing seemed labored and he held a gun in his hand. His eyes widened as he saw the glass everywhere. His furious green eyes scanned over the scene taking in the random drops of blood mixed with glass before his gaze finally found me.

"Jesus, Maddie," Billy hissed. The tone might've sounded angry but I knew that he was more worried then anything else. I had never done anything remotely like this and I could tell that the fact that I suddenly did didn't sit well with anyone.

He raced into the room his boots crunching on the glass. He reached me in an instant. His hands cupped my face bringing some of my injuries from the fight earlier to his questioning glare.

"Why?" Billy grumbled.

I didn't know whether or not he expected an answer but I tried to drop my eyes back to the floor. Billy held firm, though, forcing me to meet his eyes. He shook his head before picking me up. I let out a squeak of surprise as he lifted me up as though I weighed nothing. Not wanting to fall and knowing that he probably wouldn't let me go I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He paused in front of the shattered mirror taking out the first-aid kit before walking us towards the kitchen. He dropped me onto the kitchen counter and placed the first aid kit next to me. Billy opened the box taking out some gauze, rubbing alcohol, and tweezers.

"Off," Billy ordered pointing at my sweatshirt.

I opened my mouth to protest but the look Billy sent me had me instantly obeying. I was thankful that I had stolen one of Joe's old wife beaters a week ago because that's what I was wearing underneath. I gave my sweatshirt to Billy who just threw it behind him. He began to clean out the cuts on my face, arms, and legs. Shaking his head every so often as he did so.

"You should've told me about that fucker," Billy growled.

"I had it under control," I whimpered. The bites of alcohol really sucked and not only that I knew those tweezers were about to be used to pull out the shards of glass.

"Yeah?" Billy scoffed grabbing my mangled right hand tightly. He held it up to my gaze almost daring me to say that it was fine.

I sighed watching as Billy picked up the tweezers and began pulling out the small shards of glass. It really hurt at first but then my entire hand went numb. I didn't know whether or not it was supposed to do that but I reasoned that I didn't really wanna feel that sorta thing anyway. Once all of it was out he put some rubbing alcohol on it making sure my hand was clean. Once he rubbed some antibiotic ointment on the deeper cuts lining my knuckles he bandaged them up tightly with the gauze.

"Do not leave without telling me again," Billy hissed.

I felt his hand grab the back of my neck touching my forehead with his. I put my hand on his shoulder and nodded a little. I pulled back slightly looking into my big brother's eyes. I realized with a shock that he had been scared when Joe had called him. He thought I was in my room. Here comes that guilt again.

"You really should've told me some punk was bothering you," Billy sighed lifting my chin up with his hand. "You shouldn't have had to pull that trigger. You know we would've done something."

"I know," I whispered.

"You need to stop trying to prove you can take care of yourself," Billy snapped. "You've been getting into a lot more trouble ever since."

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"Why have you been acting this way?" Billy demanded.

"Because you have so much going on you don't need to worry about me too," I replied.

"Never say that again, Maddie," Billy growled. His eyes intense and furious.

'_Brilliant, Mads,' I thought to myself. 'Lets piss off your brother even more than you already have in the past four hours. God, knows you don't wanna survive until tomorrow.'_

Despite my best intentions I began to cry again. Billy seemed as shocked as I was seeing how I really hadn't cried in a while. Maybe the last time I seriously cried was three months ago when a bullet grazed me but it had really hurt! I felt like such a punk I shoot one guy and suddenly I'm a crying wreck. I realized somewhere that it was understandable to be upset about this but there was also the part of me who didn't want to think about what happened anymore. And yet the tears kept coming. I felt pathetic I had been around gangs and violence most of my life but finally I'm the one who pulls the trigger and I can't get over it. Maybe Joey and Billy were right maybe I wasn't ready to be in the MOD.

Billy looked at me for a little while before he stepped forward and wrapped his strong arms around me. I let out a little groan as I buried my head into the hollow of his shoulder.

"Shhh, it's okay," Billy soothed. "Everything's going to be okay."

"I-I killed someone," I sniffled. "That's not okay."

Billy pulled away from me taking my face in his hands wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumbs.

"Listen to me," He ordered. "You did the right thing. That guy had a gun on him he probably would've killed you."

That was my brother comforting albeit short and too the point. Letting you know exactly what the situation was and whether or not you did the right thing. There was no sugarcoating with him just cold hard facts. Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'm sorry, Billy," I sighed quickly calming back down to my normal demeanor. Crying for me was unusual; crying and allowing it to carry on for a while was even more unlikely. Call it the Darley stubbornness if you must but most of the time I could turn the waterworks on and off depending on the situation.

"Go get some sleep," Billy ordered lightly.

I nodded hopping off the counter and walking back towards my room. I closed the door quietly and wandered over back to my bed. I didn't know whether or not I should actually go to sleep. I feared the nightmares that might be waiting for me. I don't know how much time passed before I actually felt my eyes close and begin to nod off.

By some miracle I didn't have the typical nightmares. The ones of resurfacing memories that I managed to hide away during the day. One thing that was good about living with all boys was that I learned quickly to hide emotions. The one thing that I could never do was hide my what I was feeling in my gaze, my own give-away.

The sun began to rise around six thirty that morning. I decided there was no more reason to torment myself with trying to get sleep. I crept out of bed and noticed that Joe had snuck back in sometime during the night. I shook my head at my older brother, knowing that he had probably only been home for about two or three hours. I quickly opened my drawers pulling out a grey tank top, black sweatshirt, and a pair of jeans that hung of my waist and enabled me to carry at least one gun with me at all times.

I changed into my clothing stopping in the bathroom to brush my hair and slip it into a ponytail. Some wisps of hair fell down framing my face as I walked into the kitchen grabbing a protein bar. I was making coffee when my phone began to ring incessantly. Now fucking what? Better yet, who was up at seven in the morning on a Wednesday?

"What?" I growled.

"Where the fuck you been, _princess_?" An irritated voice came over the other side of the phone.

"Around," I sighed.

"Get your fucking scrawny ass over here," Bones growled. "I have to talk to you."

"Okay," I sighed. "I'm on my way."

After I hung up on Bones I called Heco asking if I could borrow his car. He was a little reluctant at first but I told him if Billy got mad I'd take the blame completely. He folded after that telling me that he kept his keys in the car incase they ever had to make a quick get-a-way. I climbed in the red mustang that had black tribal symbols flooring it out of the parking lot and heading towards Bones's body shop. I got there within five minutes parking the car near the chain-link fence. I climbed out walking past the snarling guard dog and into the shop.

"Hey, Maddie!" Someone shouted.

I nodded my head at them as I walked through the hallway and into the main office. Bones's office.

"Long time no see, _sunshine_," Bones growled.

"You wanted to see me," I stated. I knew that Billy had expressly forbade me to even step foot back here without him or Joe. Figures that I'd always be breaking some sorta rule no matter what I did.

"How long have you been a hacker?" Bones demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied blankly.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" Bones yelled. "How long?"

Bones and I glared at each other before he started shouting again banging his fist down on the table. I could've hit myself my I flinched at the sudden movement. "Don't think I don't know why you got kicked out of school two years ago, you little cunt."

"I started when I was twelve!" I snarled.

God, I don't think I hated anyone as much as I hated my father. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Instead he has to call me at least once a week to make me do something, "Watch after the Nazi, bitch!", "Why don't you go do something useful?" Bones has his little nicknames for everyone mine were sunshine, princess, or cunt when I pissed him off. Billy was called Nazi, half-wit, faggot, or Billy boy and Joe was typically called a faggot, half-wit, or an asswipe.

That was another thing Bones might be a sadistic son of a bitch but he wasn't as stupid as most people thought. He knew a lot and well, it helped to have ties to the Irish mob that would give him information that he would in turn pass on to us. As I've said before we weren't his children we were his messengers.

It didn't really surprise me that Bones knew the real circumstances of me leaving PS 213 and getting my GED. It was my sophomore year when I decided to put my hacking skills to good use. I had learned how to hack into computers and other more useful things when I was bordering on twelve years old. There wasn't much I could do when my brothers' didn't want me walking around. Therefore, I figured out how to read all the technical manuals lying around the house and managed to hack into my father's computer within two months of me figuring out how. From hacking into Bones's computer I quickly learned how to hack into the school databases and even more helpful the police records, continually cleaning my brother's records when and if they were caught. I was kicked out of school when the administration realized that there was a surge of people making honor roll and that's when they realized they had a hacker. My clients folded quickly and I was ousted before I could say anything. Not that I minded I made a hell of a lot of money changing peoples grades around. However, I figured I might as well get my GED anyway just incase I ever got away from here.

Police and school databases weren't my only specialty with only someone's name I could hack into federal records and destroy their lives. I hadn't done it before but I quickly figured out exactly how easy it was. I knew Bones must have been monitoring my friends and I or something because he certainly seemed to know something. That cunning glint in his beady eyes spelled all sorts of things. None of which made me happy.

"And you're good at it, aren't you, _sunshine_?" Bones grinned. "Who would've thought that my youngest would make Boston's watch list all because of hacking? You can do all sorts of tricks can't you?"

Fuck, make me sound like a fucking pony or something. Tricks? God, it was no wonder I had a fucked up view on reality. "Yeah," I shrugged. "Had to learn to do something _useful_."

"I need you to run the books for me," Bones ordered ignoring my attitude that was starting to creep into my tone. I knew it was a bad idea. Billy's temper didn't even rival Bones's and that was scary. "All the money being made in this business. How the Nazi runs his little faggot friends and whatever else I need you too. Understand me?"

"That all?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You can do all that?" Bones scoffed. I rolled my eyes he probably had my files right in front of him. The cold hard evidence and he still doubted my abilities. It was touching, _really_.

"I hack into the federal databases for fun," I shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that I can destroy anyone who messes with our family. Get them on suspect lists, destroy their credit, that kinda thing."

"Good girl," Bones praised.

I stood in front of Bones's desk unsure whether or not the bastard had any more fun ideas planned for me. I always hated this part. If I left before he told me I could I'd never hear the end of it but if I waited to long he'd snap at me too. There was just no winning when it came to him.

"Yes," Bones growled. "You can get the fuck out of my sight now."

I wish that Billy or someone who just kill that bastard and put all of us out of our misery. I had known what Bones was like my entire childhood. That's why I was use to his muttered orders and his little digs at my brothers and myself. Calling me princess, sunshine. Normally nice names for a father to call a daughter but coming from him it disgusted me. I climbed back into Heco's car and floored it out of there. I was back at the apartment like nothing had happened, which was a good thing. Billy would kill me if he ever knew that I had been going to Bones without telling him at least once a month. I parked Heco's car in the same space I found it before trekking around the side of the apartment building and climbing up the fire escape and into my room.

"You keep coming in here like this and Billy's gonna strap an ankle bracelet on you," Joe stated.

Sad thing was that Joe wasn't bluffing. Billy would probably do that if he wanted too. Lord knows he could probably find an ankle bracelet from someone. There were too many crooked cops in this city under Bones's control. Problem was crooked cops tended to screw you over no matter who you were.

"But you're not going to tell him, right?" I asked.

"Where've you been?" Joe ignored me. "I heard you wake up early and now it's nearly noon."

"No where" I folded my arms across my chest.

"I'll tell Billy you weren't here when I woke up," Joe threatened.

"I can leave this apartment without either of you holding my hand," I groaned. My brothers put a whole new spin on the term over-protective.

"Alright, now I know you really have something to hide," Joe shook his head.

I let out an infuriated growl before suddenly tackling Joe to the ground. He grunted as we both hit the ground. It really wasn't that surprising that we fought. This is actually how it typically happened. I'd get caught doing something I wasn't supposed to be doin and Joe would hold it over my head before I finally retaliated. Then again the process usually lasted a little longer than five minutes. But I was always quick to anger after I had seen Bones, all of us were.

"The fuck, Maddie?" Joe protested.

I tried to keep Joe pinned but he was about seven inches taller then me and quickly gained the upper hand. Joe quickly flipped me over slamming me into the floor as I let out a squeak of pain seizing the opportunity; Joe pinned my legs and arms to the floor. He was always careful not to hurt me. Whenever we would fight he'd punch me once or twice and then pin me to the ground thereby immobilizing me

"Get off me!" I screamed.

"Tell me where you were!" Joe demanded.

"Fuck you, Joey, why don't you tell me where you go all fucking night long?" I snapped back.

"I'm older than you," Joe scoffed, "I don't have to tell you shit."

"And I do?" I asked banging my head against the floor in frustration.

"What is wrong with you?" Joe rolled his eyes. "The only time you're like this is when you've seen…"

"Let me go," I interrupted.

"You went to see him, didn't you?" Joe whispered. "You saw Bones by yourself? I knew I heard you talking to people this morning. Damn it, Mads, that man is completely psycho."

"Joe it's not a big deal," I pleaded. " Just don't tell Billy."

"If it's not such a big deal, why can't I?" Joe retorted.

"Damn it, Joey, please?" I whimpered. "He'll kill me."

"And, you don't deserve it?" Joe retorted and then softened a little. "What did he tell you to do, Maddie?"

"Nothin'." I shrugged.

"_Maddie,"_ Joe growled.

"It's nothing bad," I murmured, "I swear it."

"I don't like this," Joe sighed.

"You think I do?" I groaned. "I hate going over there."

"How long have you been going back there?" Joe asked suspiciously.

"Who said I've stopped?" I whispered.

I hated how Joe always seemed to know whenever I had seen Bones. Granted all of us were more sullen, combative, and angry after we saw him so the signs were easy to recognize. Which was why Billy had forbidden me to go over there. He hated how Bones always seemed to get to me and he didn't like how combative I was afterwards seeing how being antagonistic and combative aren't necessarily good things in South Boston. Especially if you were a girl.

I was always stuck between Bones and Billy. I owed Billy everything for raising me almost single-handily. I mean Joe helped once he had gotten older but it was Billy who had dropped out of school for us. Billy was the one who made sure we had food even if he had to steal for it. Billy had sacrificed his own childhood raising Joe and I. But while Billy was the one who had always protected me, Bones was the one who could kill me and that's why I went to the shop whenever he told me too. I also hoped that maybe if I did whatever Bones told me to he wouldn't come down so hard on Billy.

"Just talk to me," Joe groaned.

"Fine," I sighed, "I never really stopped going down to the shop. He told me that I need to run the books."

"He found out about the hacking?" Joe sighed. Although it wasn't really a question more of a statement of fact.

"Only a matter of time," I shrugged. "We all knew that."

"This is a bad idea, Mads," Joe warned. "Billy will be pissed when he finds out."

"I know," I grimaced. "But what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know," Joe sighed.

I looked down at the floor shaking my head. I knew that I was going to have to do this but I knew that Billy was going to be pissed. And that was what worried me. Joe stepped forward a little placing a warm hand on the back of my neck. I rested my forehead against his. Breaking tradition I went from resting my forehead against his to wrapping my arms around his lean frame. He seemed to be surprised but quickly wrapped his arms around me.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Joe sighed. "I just think you should tell Billy."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I will."

Before Joe or I could say anything further I heard Billy slam through the front door. The slam reverberated over the apartment while Joe and I exchanged looks of unease.

"Heco, you sandbagging son of a bitch!" Billy roared from the living room.

"Billy, I'm sorry!" Heco yelped.

"Shut the fuck up!" Billy growled. "I swear to god, man, if you don't start showing up for your shifts I'm going to put a bullet through your skull."

"Whoa!" Bodie's voice came through. "What's wrong?"

"This fucker isn't working his shifts again," Billy hissed.

"Really, man?" Bodie asked. "I thought you were working one this morning."

"Tommy, Dog, and Spink were working this morning," Billy corrected.

"Then where was your car dude?" Bodie asked.

"What?" Billy growled. "Did you let Spink borrow your car?"

"Uh," Heco stuttered. "What do you mean my car wasn't out front?"

"Don't fucking lie to me, Heco!" Billy roared. That tone of voice would cause anyone else to piss themselves in fright but Heco's voice just seemed to shake a little more.

"Dude she tricked me," Heco yelped.

"She?" Bodie growled.

"Maddie!" Billy snapped from the living room.

I just wasn't catching a break lately, was I? First my little drug ring got busted and now Billy's going to find out that I've been seeing Bones behind his back. I knew my only option was to go out that door and into the lion's den but I wasn't about to go out there without a decent course of action first.

"_**Maddie!"**_ Billy roared.

Or maybe I'd just wing it. Wish me luck cause I was going to need it that was for damn sure. Billy had no sympathy when he was this mad and, well, that wasn't points in my favor.

"Go," Joe prodded. "Maddie, you're making it worse by making him wait, go!"

I rolled my eyes strutting out of our room with a confidence that I didn't feel. I had been taught from a young age how to con people. Despite knowing that I couldn't ever con family didn't stop me from at least attempting that I didn't do anything wrong.

"Hi, Billy!" I smiled. "Bodie. Heco."

"Maddie," Billy and Heco greeted.

"Where were you this morning?" Billy asked.

"Just around the neighborhood," I shrugged.

"You take Heco's car?" Billy asked.

"Yeah," I stated. "I didn't think anyone would mind it was early."

"When did you get back?" Billy questioned. _'Oh, yeah he was suspicious of something' I moaned internally. A suspicious Billy made for a fairly questioning one who would almost always get the answers he was seeking._

"Half hour ago," I answered.

"You sneak in?" Billy demanded.

"Yes," I squeaked.

"Why?" Billy interrogated.

"It's an important skill," I replied. _'Could I sound anymore like a smart-ass?' I thought._

"Where were you?" Billy repeated.

"Bones called me," I whispered.

"What?" Billy yelled. "What the fuck? What did he want?"

"Needed my computer expertise," I sighed. "What was I supposed to do?"

"You could start by telling me when that son of a bitch calls," Billy growled.

I raised an eyebrow at Billy's suggestion. Oh, yeah, I was just going to write a note, "Gone to Bones's shop be back soon," That would really go over well.

"I'm sorry," I murmered.

"I've told you I don't want you over there," Billy snapped. "What the hell?"

"Billy, Bones kills people okay?" I retorted. "I rather not wake up bleeding to death in the trunk of his car just because I refused to do one little thing."

"What little thing?" Billy spat.

"Hacking and managing the books," I stated. "That's not so bad. And don't try to get me out of this Bones will think I put you up to it."

"You don't go down there again without Joe or I," Billy howled. "Understand me?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

Even though Billy went to talk to Bodie and Heco about how the office was holding up I could tell that this whole thing wasn't over. There was a scheming look in my eldest brother's eyes one that would make me probably very irritated. I just remember the last time Billy was this irritated with me. He had me followed by the gang whenever I wasn't with him or Joe. Which meant I had body guards twenty-four seven. That meant my social life outside the MOD came to a screeching halt because the only guys who were crazy enough to hit on me were the ones who were already members of Billy's gang and even so they weren't that stupid to do it right in front of either one of my brothers. While Billy was hands down the most intimidating out of all of us Joe could hold his own and no one messed with a gang lords family. That just happened to be one of the perks.

The major downside? It was well known fact that I was like MOD property I could only date guys they approved of, which was, uh, let me think: no one! And if any other guy even wanted to talk to me well lets just say I might as well had off limits tattooed on my ass. But still if anyone could find a loophole for _anything_ it was a Darley.

* * *

_**Author's Note: Hey, everyone I hope you're enjoying reading my new story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. :D Anyway, I would really like to know what you, the reader, thought about this chapter because there was a lot of information concerning the main character. For instance, did I overwhelm anyone? Was it hard to believe that she was a hacker especially since they life in the 'bad' part of town? Most importantly did I keep everyone in character I knew while I was writing this that Maddie would not have a good reaction to killing someone, who would? I knew that she'd rationalize that it was for the best but she would still feel guilty. I don't think having her brother's comfort her and clean her up afterwards was out of character for either Joe or Billy but, please correct me if you disagree. The old version of this chapter didn't have the moment between Maddie and Billy or Joe and Maddie. I added those after the characters seemed a little too distant for one another. Also, was this chapter filled with a little too much drama? Anyway reviews are much appreciated!**_

_**I'd also like to thank everyone who read or reviewed for the last chapter! I'm glad people are enjoying it.**_

_**Thank you so much,**_

_**Beccatdemon13**_


	3. Bad Moon Rising

**Chapter Three: Bad Moon Rising**

"_Nothing hurts my world, just affects the ones around me. When sins deep in my blood, you'll be the one to fall." Unholy Confessions (Avenged Sevenfold)_

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. I was busy setting up the book for my brothers business but that didn't take as long as I originally thought it would. I sighed looking over at the clock. It was only six thirty, which means the bar would still be deserted. God knows where my brothers went during the day all I knew is they didn't want me going. Finally my phone began to ring as though saving me from eternal building.

"What?" I groaned.

"Now is that anyway to talk to your boyfriend?" A voice tsked.

"My boyfriend's been locked up for three years, asshole," I hissed.

"Not anymore," The voice said simply. "I'm back."

"Kev?" I whispered.

Kevin 'Synyster' Mercer had been my first and only boyfriend. He was part of the MOD and was only a year older than me. Just because I had said the gang didn't approve of the majority of the guys I dated didn't mean they didn't approve of Syn. He was one of Joe's best friends and not only that he could keep me distracted and out of trouble, which I'm sure Billy appreciated.

"Baby?" Kevin prompted.

"You're actually out of Deren?" I questioned.

"I'm a lot closer than that," Kevin replied.

"You still have your key, don't you?" I smirked.

"Ah, babe, you know me too well," Kevin laughed.

I hopped off of the coach and wandered down the small hallway towards the front door. I looked out of the peephole and squeaked because there he was. Kevin had spiky black hair with just a little bit of stubble on his chin. He was buff and tattooed out with both the MOD's markings as well as his own. He had a silver hoop in his right nostril and a kind look in his brown eyes. I threw open the door and just looked at him he had grown a few more inches since the last time I saw him as well as filled out.

"Whoa, Mads," Kevin smiled. "You grew up."

"I could say the same thing about you," I retorted.

Before I could say anything else Kevin surged forward causing me to back step as he shut the door behind him. He strode over to me before cupping my face in his hands as he kissed me deeply. I moaned despite myself knowing that it felt so good to be held like this again.

"I missed you," I sighed.

"I missed you to, Maddie." Kevin whispered before gently grabbing my chin and tilting it up to kiss me soundly once more.

I kissed him back grinning when I felt Kevin bite back a moan. His long body curled around mine, pushing me into the wall as his hands found my thighs. Before I could move I felt him lift me cupping my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist. The kiss only paused when we had to come up for air.

"Your cell phone's ringing," Kevin sighed pressing his forehead against mine.

I glared at the offending piece of technology before sliding down the wall and snatching it off the table.

"What?" I growled.

"Billy wants you at the Four Roses," Heco told me.

"It's early," I replied.

"He still wants you here," Heco repeated.

"Why?" I spat.

"I don't know," Heco sighed. "He doesn't really tell us that stuff. Now would you please get your ass over here before Billy kills someone?"

"What the fuck did you do, Heco?" I growled.

"Why did I have to be the one to do something?" Heco snapped.

"Cause you're always the one to fucking piss him off!" I shouted.

"You do a pretty damn good job yourself, little girl," Heco retorted.

"Ugh, fuck you!" I snarled and hung up on him in the next instant.

I shook my head as I walked past Kevin and into my bedroom. I yanked open my dresser and quickly threw on a sweatshirt that clung to all the right places and a pair of skinny jeans before lacing up my knee high converses. I loved my shoes because they had a compartment for knives within my reach.

"You ready to go?" I asked.

"You mean am I ready to see everyone again?" Kevin asked. "Yeah, I guess so."

"You sure?" I sighed. "You don't have to go."

"But I wanna be with you," Kevin sighed. "And you have to go to the bar."

I smiled softly as Kevin laced his fingers through mine and together we walked out of the apartment and in the direction of the Four Roses. Along the way I caught him up on everything that had changed even telling him what happened just recently.

"Let me get this straight," Kevin sighed. "You killed someone?"

"He threatened my family," I explained.

"I just never thought you had it in ya, babe," Kevin whistled.

"Not like I wanted to," I explained. "He hit me first."

"And you've been selling drugs in MOD territory?" Kevin questioned. "That's pretty ballsy even for Billy Darley's kid sister."

"No, the only way my family matters is it keeps me from getting killed," I shrugged.

"Guess having a gang lord for a big brother pays off then," Kevin smirked.

"Oh, shut up." I groaned.

I shoved through the metal door of the Four Roses blinking as my eyes adjusted to the dark and smoky atmosphere.

"Just to warn you," I muttered. "They've been really protective lately."

"Goody," Kevin sighed.

"Syn?" Someone shouted. From this vantage point it sounded like Bodie.

"Man when the fuck did you get out of pen?" Heco laughed.

"A few hours ago," Kevin shrugged.

"You haven't changed at all," Bodie smirked. "Hey, baby girl."

"Hey, Bodie," I grinned. "Where's my brothers?"

"Out doing business," Bodie replied. "They should be here soon."

As if on cue the door slammed open and Billy strode through the door with Joe at his heels. It was almost a subconscious action on my part but I looked them over looking for any wounds or injuries. But they both seemed fine, albeit very pissed off. At least Joe was the one who saw me and Kevin first because with the mood Billy seemed to be in he would've shot Kevin first and asked questions later.

"Who the hell is this?" Joe demanded eyeing Kevin up and down.

"Whoa, Joey, that hurts," Kevin smirked. "Don't remember little old me?"

"Synyster?" Joe gasped. "No fucking way, man! Been a long time."

"Yeah," Kevin sighed. "Way too long."

"Billy guess whose back?" Joe shouted.

Billy spun around giving a Joe a nasty look as he had been dealing with a costumer. But then caught sight of Kevin and smirked.

"Yeah, your sister's been a good customer of mine for a while," Billy smirked. "I've been a pretty good customer of hers."

I rolled my eyes as the kid attempted to give Billy a nasty look but quickly decided against it and scampered out of the bar with his tail between his legs. Billy then pocketed the money walking over to where Joe, Kevin, and I stood.

"Syn," Billy grumbled. "About time you got out."

"Missed one of your best dealers, Darley?" Kevin smirked.

"Something like that," Billy sighed. "Heco's been fucking up lately. Think you can take his shift?"

"Yeah," Kevin replied. "But honestly, Billy, when hasn't Heco fucked up in some way?"

"True," Billy laughed.

The only reason why Heco was considered a fuck up was the fact that he loved using meth more then selling it so he dipped into the products, which always left us coming up short. Which meant that Billy was in a bad mood because Bones' would be on his ass because he was such a greedy son of a bitch. Although, I really didn't see the necessity for such greed. After all I had been in his books and records all day and he had a lot more money than people would see judging by the outside appearance of the body shop. But on the inside you'd see it especially if you hit the right walls. I'm talking hidden rooms filled with all sorts of weaponry half of which I'm sure was either stolen or there illegally.

"You finish setting up the books?" Billy asked me.

"Yeah, I finished right before Kevin stopped by," I answered. "You guys are actually doing pretty good. Well, now you are."

"What did you do, Mads?" Billy asked.

"Well, just changed our funds," I explained. "Sold some stocks. We actually have a fair amount of money now."

"You did all of that in five hours?" Billy questioned.

"Yeah?" I shrugged. "I got bored and started messing around."

"Maddie, if you stole from anyone…" Billy began.

"You mean like you do?" I questioned.

"Fucking smart-ass," Billy groaned smacking me upside the head.

"Ow," I pouted. "Nice, really nice, Billy."

Billy shook his head at me before dragging both Joe and Kevin off to talk more about the business. I rubbed my head even when Billy was being gentle it fucking hurt like hell. At least I knew enough when it was a good idea or a bad idea to talk back to him. But seriously Billy Darley, gang lord was giving me a lecture of right and wrong? God, my life was fucking twisted.

I groaned as I walked up the bar suddenly really thirsty. I asked for a shot of Jack and was fairly surprised when I got it. Well, that was different. I quickly downed it before anyone could see. That was yet another double standard in my family. Joey could drink when he was my age but if I even look at alcohol too long I get an earful. After I downed my shot I grabbed a can of coke before twirling on my bar stool to once again observe my surroundings.

I always use to think of myself as a truly remarkable case of nature vs. nurture. Considering the fact that here I was a small eighteen year old girl I knew I should've been terrified that I was in the company of gang members and that there were drug deals going on right next to me. Actually, Billy was gonna be pissed about that, but that was beside the point. I knew that most girls my age were more worried about guys and school but here I was worried about my brothers and the gang's financial stability. I knew that it was fucking messed up but then again it was all I ever knew. I was just grateful that I was finally out of my father's reach for the most part. Of course the fuck knew where I lived but I think even he was afraid of Billy to a point sorta like biting the hand that feeds it scenario. You'd have to be blind not to see the animosity between Bill and Bones and I knew it was only a matter of time before I ended up burying one of them. Morbid, yes but it was also the truth, People didn't live long in this life, which was why you had to be careful.


	4. Embrace Your Inhibitions

**Chapter Four: Embrace Your Inhibitions**

"_As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then that moment was gone."_

My tongue stud banged against the top of my mouth as I bounced impatiently fidgeting from foot to foot. Most people who knew me also knew of my stubbornness and my temper. I was more stubborn than people gave me credit for but because of where I grew up it was important to have a spine lest you get walked all over. My temper was another common Darley trait: just look at Bones', Billy, and Joey. Between the three of them I happened to look calm but that didn't change the fact that if you pissed me off I would probably punch you in the face. That was what I wanted to due for Heco. That damn needle-freak was gonna be the death of me and I'll explain why. Despite Billy warning me not to get involved any further into the family business than I happened to be; here I was at one of the MOD's corners filling in for the fucker. I was tense about waiting for a customer and also knowing that any of the legit MOD members could drive-by and see me out here instead of Heco bringing out whole new problems.

One of Billy's many rules for me were I didn't handle the drugs only the money. I wasn't supposed to know where the office was. I wasn't even supposed to know what they sold. Meth and Heroin and then a mixture of the two that would fuck someone up for days. I was still on thin ice with my eldest brother too. It was safe to say he was pissed at me for a lot of things: selling drugs right under his nose, sneaking out, killing someone, and keeping secrets. Yeah, I'd been a busy girl. But ever since Kevin had come back he had eased up slightly. I knew with certainty, however, that if I was to be caught out here tonight that would vanish instantaneously.

I couldn't really blame Kevin. But honestly if he hadn't come back then Heco would have his other corner and not this one on the outskirts of town close to a couple creepy empty warehouses. Man, fuck this, I'd rather rob someone and get the money that way then stand out on this corner for another second.

Without another moments hesitation I jogged down to the nearest subway station and took it straight to center-city Boston. Which was exactly where all the tourists tended to gather. I grinned at the fact that I would blend in a lot better than anyone else I knew would. The first was my tattoos were covered with what I wore and second I didn't look half as intimidating as they did. A fact that could work for or against me.

I walked slowly behind people casually bumping into them before taking their wallets and vanishing out of sight. I kept that process up for about forty five minutes before I realized that I was bordering on midnight, which meant I should've been at the bar already. I yawned before hopping on the train that would drop me off a block away from the Four Roses.

When I opened the door to the Four Roses thirty minutes later I could immediately tell something was wrong. I closed the door behind me and quickly my mind whirled to life calculating exactly what was wrong with the situation. The first was that almost no one was there, the second was there wasn't any music, and third the whole place looked like it had just froze.

"Maddie!" Heco yelped running over to me as I approached the center of the bar. "Where've you been?"

"Up in center-city, why?" I asked.

"Now don't be mad but…" Heco started.

"Heco, when most people start with that it's because there's normally a very, very good reason as to why I'm about to get really pissed off." I said calmly.

"Okay, well, you know how you took over my shift tonight?" Heco started. "Yeah, well, Billy came to my apartment because he heard that I wasn't there and some girl was. That really narrowed down who it could be, by the way. Anyway, I confessed that I had talked you into running my corner."

"God damn it, Hector!" I snapped.

"I'm sorry, Maddie," Heco winced both at the use of his first name and the way my eyes were flashing. "You know how Billy gets."

"Yeah, which is why it's so lovely that you sicced him on me!" I groaned. "What the fuck?"

"I panicked," Heco muttered. "Look I didn't mean for it to get this bad. But then Billy went to the corner you were supposed to be on and you weren't there. You haven't been answering your phone so now most of the guys are out looking for you. Billy's furious."

"Great," I muttered.

That was a problem because I had broken yet another rule. I had left my cell phone at home, which meant that they couldn't get in touch with me. This was gonna cause all sorts of problems. I sat at the typical table for the MOD while Heco called Billy explaining where I was. I got out the wallets and started pulling out money and bank cards. This was a great idea because I was gonna give Billy the money to give to Bones and I was also going to take all the money from the person's account. Well, not all of it, I wasn't that heartless but a fair amount of it.

I was so wrapped but in my little number world that I failed to hear the door to the bar slamming open and the familiar thud of biker boots coming closer. When I realized that there was a shadow darkening the already bad light in here it was already to late. I found myself being yanked out of the both and shoved forward.

"Billy, I swear, I can explain," I babbled.

I spun around despite the restraining hand against my back in an attempt to grab the money. Billy allowed me to place the money back into my bag before I finally found my right arm seized in an iron-tight grasp.

"Ow, Billy, come on, let me go," I pleaded.

Suddenly I was very afraid when he wouldn't say anything. Normally when he was angry it was a blank look, where you could see the anger just brewing under the surface. There would be yelling too before it all faded into a tired sort of voice but right now there was none of that. I'm talking no sounds at all.

"Oh, no," Billy said grimily, shaking his head. "You're getting a fucking leash you hear me? Move it!"

Technically I could only go as fast as Billy was going after all he was the one who still had that grip on my arm. I didn't dare say that, though, I knew when my luck was pressed. I also knew the fact that I was his baby sister kept him from punching me but the night was still young.

I was shoved into the back of the mustang where I nearly fell head first into Joe. Billy slammed the door and walked around to the driver's side. I straightened myself and buckled my seatbelt ignoring Joe as he tried to catch my eye. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my forearms on top of them. I knew that I had screwed up royally but I still didn't like getting bitched at, although I knew I deserved it. I had disappeared for four hours. Hell, those were four hours where I wasn't even in Southie. Man, no one couldn't say that when I screwed up royally I went the whole nine yards and then some. The mustang came to a screeching halt outside the apartment. I quickly and quietly crawled out of the backseat sliding through the open passenger door. Billy and Joe followed behind me as I led the way up the stairs to our apartment. I hate to be morbid but it felt like I was walking to my own death here. Dead girl walking was the phrase that kept rolling through my mind. The door barely shut after the three of us before Billy was in my face.

"I don't even know what the fuck you were thinking," Billy snapped. "I mean how many fucking things did you do wrong today?"

I blinked up at him unsure of whether he truly wanted an answer or not. My vote was on the latter but you could never be too sure with Billy.

"I'll tell you what you did wrong," Billy grumbled. "You let Heco talk you into running his corner! You don't take your phone with you. And then you have the audacity to leave your post and disappear without a phone. You were gone for four hours, no one knew where the fuck you were!"

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "The corner freaked me out so I went to tourist center and pick-pocketed for a couple of hours. I didn't realize that I had left my phone at home until I was already on the subway."

"The fucking corner freaked you out?" Billy yelled. "So, then you go on the fucking subway? God damn it, Maddie, the subway is ten times more dangerous and you know that!"

"I had my knife," I muttered.

"What good is a knife if an asshole has a gun, huh?" Billy demanded. "You gotta fucking think before you act."

"I made ten times more money than if I had stayed on that fucking corner," I grumbled.

"It isn't your fucking job to make the money!" Billy roared lifting my chin up with his hand and holding it tightly. "You manage the fucking money. Other than that you don't touch it."

"Billy," I sighed. "You know I can protect myself."

"Yeah?" Billy scoffed. "You wanna pull that trigger again, baby girl? Because if you work with us I can promise you're gonna have to. Will you feel guilty taking more lives?"

"You telling me you don't feel guilty?" I asked. "That you haven't ever felt guilty?"

_The first time Billy had killed someone I was only eight years old which made Joe thirteen and Billy was eighteen it was one of the first times that Joe was allowed to watch after me without Billy being near-by. He was currently at a party that we were given strict orders not to even think about let alone go near. Well, I think he was talking more to Joe then me._

_It was around one in the morning and I had only been asleep for about three hours when Billy came stumbling in through the window. Opting not to enter our house from the normal front door entrance. I knew something was wrong as soon as Bodie slid in after him and they both ran to the bathroom._

_My curiosity peaked when I heard someone throwing up and what sounded like someone trying really hard not to cry. I wandered out of the room, something I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing. I had rules even back then although they were a lot more of them and they were strictly enforced. I opened the bathroom door and saw Billy crouched over the toilet and Bodie pacing nervously back and forth. The second I saw them both covered in blood I let out a tiny squeak. The two older boys whipped around looking at me in horror._

"_Maddie, what do you think you're doing?" Billy growled._

"_What's wrong?" I asked. "You seem sad. Are you hurt?"_

"_No, baby, I'm not hurt," Billy, muttered brushing his dirty blond hair out of his eyes._

"_Why do you look like you've been crying?" I questioned._

"_I did something bad," Billy murmured. "But you should be in bed."_

"_Bad like Daddy?" I questioned._

"_Yes," Billy sniffed._

"_You didn't mean to," I whispered. "You're not like Daddy. Not ever."_

"_Go back to bed, Maddie, you know it's past your bed time," Billy ordered._

"_I love you, Billy," I said._

"_I love you, Runt, now get to bed," Billy said pushing me lightly out of the door._

_I didn't know until much later that Billy had killed someone. By then he was already a full-fledged messenger boy for Bones', which meant that he was armed to protect Bones' packages. He had shot someone who had attempted to steal the merchandise. That was Billy's first kill but I knew even back then that it wouldn't be the last._

"Not anymore," Billy stated. "We live in a dangerous world. It's them or us. Would you rather be killed or kill to survive another day."

I shook my head refusing to answer the question. I couldn't, I wouldn't. We both knew the answer that I would kill again if it came down to my life or theirs but it wasn't a situation that I ever wanted to be in again.

"Answer the question, Maddie," Billy ordered. "Say it."

"I would," I muttered. "You know I would."

"But you don't want to," Billy responded. "And you don't have to. We keep you on the outskirts for a reason either accept that or learn to accept pulling that trigger."

"Okay," I muttered.

"Never again," Billy growled. "You understand that? The entire gang was out looking for you instead of running their fucking corners. Do you know how much business we probably lost?"

"But I made the profits back ten-fold," I whispered.

"That's besides the point and you know it, Maddie," Billy hissed. "Look I know things have been stressful lately but you can't just vanish outta here. Like it or not our family is important around here. You know how many people would willingly mess with you in order to get to me?"

"I'm sorry," I grumbled. "I fucked up. But I was safe."

"You're not safe anywhere," Billy growled. "Everything that looks safe. It's not don't use that as an excuse and don't just drop your guard."

"Alright," I groaned.

"Next time you do this your taking someone from the MOD with you," Billy ordered.

"Fine," I sighed.

Like that would honestly be conspicuous. _Hey officer I don't know who snatched my wallet but I do remember this small girl with light brown hair and this guy with tribal tattoos. They were scary. Honestly don't know what a little girl was doing with a person like that._ I kept my opinion to myself knowing that Billy probably had been more worried then angry once he couldn't find me and I wasn't about to change that.

"You gotta stop pulling this crap, Maddie," Billy warned. "You keep saying how you can look out for yourself but you have to know that no matter what there will people always looking out for you."

"At least I got the money," I sighed.

"The money ain't worth shit if you're dead because of it," Billy grumbled.

"I know," I replied.

Billy gave me another look as I glanced down I felt his hand on the back of my neck before giving me a gentle push towards the hallway. I got the message loud and clear it was bedtime. I opened the door noticing that halfway through my lecture Joe was no where to be found. As I opened the door I found him laying on his bed staring at the ceiling that had use to be white. I shuffled in closing the door behind me as I shrugged into my sleep clothes.

"You really have to be more careful, Mads," Joe sighed.

"I know," I groaned.

I heard Joe sigh as I slipped into my bed already half asleep.

"Goodnight, Maddie," Joe yawned.

"Goodnight Joe," I sighed.

The next morning came far too fast for my likeness. I groaned as I rolled over cursing myself for not convincing my brothers to buy blinds or something to keep the goddamned sun out of here in the mornings.

"Quit bitchin', Maddie, it's almost noon," Joe rolled his eyes.

I leaned up against my headboard blinking back blearily. "No fucking way," I growled.

"Oh, yeah," Joe scoffed. "You were out of it, girl. Billy and I've been trying to wake you since ten. Your fuckin phone started ringing off the fucking hook around that time."

"How the fuck is that my fault?" I rasped. My voice cracking from being dry.

"Catch," Joe ordered chucking my phone at me before I had processed the order all the way.

"You're fucking lucky that I have good reflexes," I glared.

Joe rolled his eyes once more before walking back out of our room. I looked at my phone checking the call history. Well, Kevin had called a bunch and then some of my old drug associates who were most likely wondering where the next fucking shipment was.

I sighed to myself as I stumbled to my closest and pulled out a tee shirt and a pair of jeans just throwing them on before walking out of the room. My bare feet padded down the small hallway as I let out a huge yawn.

"Good morning," Bodie laughed.

"Hey, Bodie," I grinned. "What's up?"

"Just waiting here for Billy," Bodie explained.

"Ah, so same old same old?" I teased.

"Smart-ass," Bodie shook his head.

"I know it's surprising," I smirked.

I heard Bodie mutter something under his breath but I just shrugged walking past him to the pantry. I emerged two seconds later holding a granola bar between my teeth. I bit down as I went to pour a cup of coffee.

"What?" I demanded.

Bodie had been watching my movements for about five minutes straight. Truth be told it was starting to freak me out.

"You've just grown up is all," Bodie shrugged leaning back in his chair.

"You're so lucky that Billy or Kevin didn't hear you say that," I shook my head.

"What?" Bodie whined. "You weren't gonna be a little girl in pig-tails running around Southie forever."

"Thanks Bodie," I sighed. "Nice to know you still see me as that."

"Oh, come on," Bodie grinned. "You were cute and now…"

"Thanks," I replied. "Seriously."

"You're welcome, baby girl," Bodie laughed. "Now would you happen to know where exactly your older brothers are?"

"Do I look like I'm high up enough on the food chain for that?" I growled.

"Maddie," Bodie warned.

"Sorry, Bodie," I muttered.

Bodie was like another brother to me. He had been around since the time I was born because he was one of Billy's best friends. I was almost always hanging out by the shop and when we all moved he did too. Bodie might've seem like he would be scary and violent but like almost everything else in my life he wasn't, at least to me. I think that might've been because I was Billy's sister or maybe because I was the only girl who even was apart of the MOD at least in some way.

Bodie and I feel into a nice silence as I ate my breakfast. I was jerked out of my thoughts when someone began to pound on the door. I stood up knowing that it wasn't Billy because he just would've use the key and Joey was still in our room. I made my way to the door fully aware the Bodie was right behind me. I opened the door was immediately engulfed into a bone crushing hug.

"What the fuck?" I squeaked as I was lifted up in the air. "Kevin?"

"God, Maddie, why the hell didn't you answer your phone?" Kevin groaned.

"Why what happened?" I asked.

"Nothing," Kevin said. "It's just I haven't seen you since your disappearing act."

"What else aren't you telling me?" I questioned.

"There was a shooting," Kevin sighed. "No one we know was hurt but it was one of the places you use to deal."

"I haven't been allowed to deal in a while," I replied.

"I know," Kevin muttered. "It still made my heart freeze."

"I'm sorry, baby," I sighed.

Kevin leaned over and kissed me gently. The kiss was about to intensify but Bodie cleared his voice and we broke apart, albeit reluctantly. Kevin had to go soon after that because he had business to take care of. I then walked back to my room and spent some time organizing the book imputing the money I had made yesterday into the system. At the rate this was going we were going to be on of the most successful gangs in Boston but there was still obstacles in the way.


	5. Eyes Wide Shut

**Chapter Five: Eyes Wide Shut**

"_Feeling sorrow for all you had to steal and borrow."_

Most people thought that the night was time for sleeping, relaxing, or partying. But growing up in the bad part of Boston made me see the night differently. Yes, I did go to parties and of course I slept. But I don't know the last time I slept well without either worrying or nightmares. No, the night was dangerous it was were threats and claims were made.

Bodie had left the apartment a while ago leaving the apartment deserted except for Kevin and I. Of course when Billy had called the only thing Bodie told me was that Billy told me to stay put and that Kevin was off duty tonight. Which I think meant that his job was watching me but I wasn't complaining.

"Maddie," Kevin murmured hovering over me.

I lay pinned to my bed with my bra and jeans still on. My hair lay in almost a halo falling over the pillow. Kevin was only in jeans his muscled tattooed arms holding himself up as he lay on top of me our lips fighting for dominance.

"You're the best baby sitter ever," I quipped wrapping my legs around his waist.

"I know," Kevin, laughed his breath tickling my collarbone as he gently suckled the soft skin at the base of my neck. I felt his fingers working on the button of my jeans I smiled.

Having a boyfriend that just got out of jail did have advantages. The first was that Billy trusted him enough to leave us alone together. Another reason was every touch, every kiss; every caress was just more precious because it had been three years since we last saw one another. He had made it crystal clear that I wasn't to visit him while he was on lockdown.

"You're so beautiful," Kevin whispered. "You really grew up."

"Tends to happen, Syn," I laughed.

I pushed up into Kevin feeling and seeing the desire spark in his eyes. He fingered the strap for a moment before slipping his hand lower to unclasp my bra. I wiggled out of it and leaned against him desperate to feel my skin on his. He pulled away and got up from the bed only take off his pants before jumping back into bed with me. With each kiss the passion grew, with every touch and caress the pleasure became so much more intense. He grasped the top of my thigh as we rolled together and then everything beyond that bed lost all importance.

An hour later I laid in Kevin's arms completely content with the world. I rolled over and rested my head against his chest while Kevin stroked my hair absentmindedly. I allowed myself to once again be soothed asleep by the beating of his heart.

It was so peaceful I really shouldn't have been surprised when the front door slammed open nearly ten minutes later. I jerked awake and gasped I had only seconds to get into some sort of clothing before Billy or whoever burst through that door. I burst out of bed and rushed toward the door locking it with seconds to spare. I sighed as I slipped on my bra and panties before grabbing an old sweatshirt of Joe's and a pair of pajama pants. Luckily it was nearly nine so it wouldn't look to out of place for me to be in really comfortable clothing.

"Maddie, why the fuck is this door locked?" Joe demanded banging hard on the door.

"Cause I fucking locked it!" I growled.

"Open the fucking door!" Joe ordered.

"Give me five minutes, Joe!" I growled.

"What are you doing in there that it takes five minutes?" Joe grumbled.

"Maddie, unlock this door," Billy ordered.

I snuck a look behind me and saw that Kevin had changed and looked pretty pleased with himself. I unlocked the door and looked at both of them with an irritated expression.

"What were you doing?" Billy asked.

"I was just taking a nap," I replied.

"With Kevin in there with you?" Joe asked spotting Kevin behind me.

"We both were tired," I shrugged.

"We need to talk to you," Billy announced. "Come on."

I slowly followed my older brothers out of my room feeling Kevin follow after me. I shuddered not knowing what we could need to talk about. As we got to the outside of our sparsely decorated living room. There was a couch, television, and a little coffee table. I followed Billy's eyes and sat on the couch. Joe plopped down next to me as Billy stood over us.

"There's a new gang in town," Billy announced after a couple moments of awkward silence.

"What the hell do you mean by new gang?" I demanded. "Who would be stupid enough to even come close to MOD territory?"

"They're called ninth street, they're a division off of B Street," Joe explained. "They're more dangerous willing to prove themselves that they deserve to run these streets. Our streets. They shot up one of our corners today."

"What?" I gasped. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah," Billy retorted. "Of course they are. Ain't no newbies gonna pull on over on us."

"Good," I sighed.

"But that's the problem," Joe drawled. "They know who we are Maddie. And what's worse is they know you."

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" I growled.

"It means they know you're a Darley," Billy snapped. "They know you're our little sister. And they know you're dating Synyster. They know a lot about you, Maddie. I think they're targeting you."

"For what?" I groaned.

"Because you're apart of the inner circle, "Billy sighed. "Whether I fucking like it or not you were born into this lifestyle, Mads, and I can't change that."

"Uh…" I stuttered.

Was Billy actually agreeing with a point I've been trying to make ever since I've outgrown pigtails? Whoa, has hell frozen over or what.

"It don't mean the fucking rules don't stand, smart-ass," Billy warned. "And what's more is you're gonna be with the MOD twenty four seven. If you sneeze we'll know. Ya understand me?"

"You mean I'm on fucking restriction?" I whined. "Billy, I can take care of myself!"

"Like hell you can," Joe scoffed.

"I could kick your ass, Joe," I grumbled. "I know how to use a gun and a knife. I'm not a fucking Barbie. I don't need protection."

"No, what you need is to listen to fucking directions!" Billy screamed. "I don't give a shit whose ass you can kick. You do what I tell you or I swear to fucking god I'll lock you in here, Madeleine, don't think I won't."

"It's some newbie fucking gang!" I screamed back. "I've probably got more experience on the streets then the lot of them combined."

"Listen to me," Billy ordered. "I don't give a shit what you can do. You're under MOD protection until we get this problem handled. And if you even think about giving any one of us the slip you're going to be in so much trouble Juvie will look like castle compared to what I'll come up with."

"Alright, fine!" I relented. "Fucking hell."

"Mercer," Billy spat turning to find Kevin leaning against the wall. "You knock up my sister and I'll fucking castrate you. Got me?"

"Yeah," Kevin paled. "Got it, Billy."

"Don't threaten my boyfriend," I ordered getting off the couch and going to the kitchen.

"Ya got to admit, Billy," Kevin chuckled. "My girl's got balls."

I smirked at him over my shoulder as I walked into the pantry looking for anything that was remotely edible. Surprisingly enough I didn't find anything. I let out a small sigh. I really should be use to this after living with guys the majority of my life I should know that unless I go to the supermarket we won't have food in the house. I slammed back out of the pantry shooting Billy a quick glare as I wandered back into my room.

I shrugged into a new sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. I slipped into my knee-high boots that had been given some new perks. I had two compartments on the top of the boot, where I could easily grab my knives. I then slipped another blade on my arm and a gun in the back of my jeans. I emerged of few minutes later surprised to find Joe, Billy, and Kevin exactly where I left them.

"Well, look at you," Billy whistled. "Where do you think you're going?'

"We need food," I grumbled.

"We got food," Billy retorted.

"Billy, calling that shit in there food is insulting to actual food," I smirked.

"So, you going to get food?" Billy asked.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"With what?" Billy questioned.

"Well, I need to borrow the car and I have money," I shrugged.

"No, we'll go with you," Billy replied.

"What?" I backtracked. "Billy, when's the last time you've been in a grocery store?"

"Shut up, Maddie," Billy ordered. "Joe. You're coming with us."

"Where we going?" Joe asked.

"The grocery store," I answered sounding a little unsure myself.

"Why the fuck are we going there?" Joe sneered.

"We need food, dumbass," I retorted.

"Then you go," Joe grumbled.

"We're all going," Billy ordered. "So stop fuckin complaining."

Joe looked confused but shut up regardless. I walked out of the apartment with Kevin, Joe, and Billy at my heels. It was always said that in life you should expect the unexpected, and well going with that this entire day was a little unexpected. I can't even remember the last time I went to the grocery store with my brothers. If there was ever a time where we were ever at a grocery store. Take-out tended to be dinner when we were all growing up. Either that or whatever Billy managed to find. Sometimes a nice older couple that lived down the street use to give Billy food.

The nice old couple tried to help anyway they could, at least until Bones found out. He threatened them with their lives and they backed away. I wish with all my heart that my brothers and I had a better child hood, a better life but it wasn't the case. The beating Bones gave to Billy when he found out he was talking to other people about Darley family business was horrible. There were bruises everywhere as well as a deep cut along his jaw.

_It was a sad thing if you were eleven years old and thought life was supposed to be this hard. My father was an asshole who hadn't been an actual father since my mother had gone and died. I wouldn't know my mother. All I knew was that my father blamed me for her death. Hell, I did too. After all she died only minutes after me coming out of her. I shouldn't have even been born, a fucking mistake, that's what my father liked to remind me. His little fucking mistake that got his wife killed. _

_My brother Joe use to talk about a very different Bones Darley, one that was loving, towards his family anyway. He'd never dream of laying a hand on his boys at least until his wife, my mother, Meredith died an untimely death. Of course that all changed when I came into the picture. His business went black dealing with the Mob and differing street gangs. Getting so drunk at night that he used Billy as a fucking punching bag. Sometimes Joe as well if he got a hold of him. We could tell what kind of mood Bones was in judging by how strong the smell of alcohol was in the air. As soon as Bones came storming into our small house located behind his body shop Billy would make Joe and I hide in the closet locking it and telling us not to come out until he said we could. Joe and I would be stuck in that closet anywhere from an hour to five until Bones was passed out cold._

_The closet hiding had been routine since I was six but recently around my birthday Bones began drinking more and lashing out harder. He tended to get worse around my birthday, reminding me not to expect a fucking thing because he'd be damned if he celebrated his wife's death. My likeness to my mother is actually what might've saved me from the harsher beatings that my brothers, Billy especially, endured. I looked too much like her._

_Bones Darley was not father of the year by any means but he normally made sure that we at least had something to eat. At least one thing the man did right by us. But he tended to stop whenever he felt we were being ungraceful. That's where Billy stepped in making sure that Joe and I had clothing and food in our stomachs. Billy was more my father then Bones ever was. Billy with the held of Mr. and Mrs. Cummings helped feed us under the radar. Of course once Bones found out, which he did, he flipped and threatened the Cummings lives. They ducked out as anyone would._

_That was the worst part of Bones he could find out anything and if he didn't like it…well, just kiss your ass goodbye. Billy had been getting more paranoid once the Cummings told him that our father knew._

"_Come on," Billy ordered herding Joe and I over to the closet that also had a lock on the inside. "He's gonna be home soon."_

_The sound of the body shops door slamming in the distance was our warning bell and Billy took that bell seriously. Every day without fail he'd shove Joe and I in the closet and we'd stay there until Billy told us otherwise._

"_Billy, come on," Joe grumbled. "I'm fucking sixteen."_

"_What do ya want?" Billy growled. "A medal. Get your ass in there."_

"_No," Joe retorted. "I'm not leaving you alone with him."_

"_Joe," Billy warned green eyes flashing with warning._

"_Billy, it's suicide he knows!" Joe retorted eyes flashing with defiance._

"_You want to leave Maddie all alone in there?" Billy demanded gesturing at me angrily._

"_I'll be fine," I whispered._

"_Madeleine, quiet," Billy ordered roughly._

_Billy could cut off any argument I ever had with just two words it was really quite the talent. He was more worried about us, me in particular then usual because Bones had actually backhanded me yesterday. I hadn't answered a question and was on the floor in seconds bleeding from a pretty bad cut where his ring had nicked me._

_Joe's argument with Billy ended as quickly as it had started. Mainly with a harsh lecture of cold hard facts and a smack upside the head. I really hated being in that closet. I was a little claustrophobic and I just didn't like being stuck in there. Listening to my oldest brother get beaten broke my heart every time. _

"_Lock it," Billy ordered before I heard the other door close._

_Not even five minutes later we heard the front door slam open. Bones' heavy footsteps sounding throughout the house _

"_You think you were fucking smart, Nazi?" Bones' demanded a few minutes later. "Getting other fucking people in our fucking business? You don't think I'm raising your brother and sister the right fucking way? So you get those fucking busy bodies from down the fucking street involved. Fuckin' half-wit!"_

_I winced at the first thud of first against yielding flesh. There were more blows after that a lot more. I whimpered quietly if it wasn't for me Billy could be away from here. He wouldn't have to endure the beatings at twenty-one years old. He took them quietly despite how much it must've hurt._

"_Maddie, it's okay," Joe whispered. "It's all going to be okay."_

"_It's all my fault," I whimpered tears springing from my eyes._

"_It's not your fault," Joe muttered wrapping me into the hug. "Billy doesn't fucking blame you. It's Bones'"_

"Ya gonna get out of the car?" Billy asked a mere ten minutes later smacking the side of my leg to jog me out of the memory.

"Yeah," I replied crawling over the front seat to get out of the car.

"Hey, everythin' okay?" Billy questioned.

"Of course," I responded.

Billy shot me an uncertain glance as we walked into the grocery store all around us seemed to freeze as the shopping patrons took in the three tall, tattooed men. When I stepped out in front of them they seemed more relieved or at least a little bit.

"Come on, guys," I prodded.

I grabbed a shopping cart and made my rounds around the store. I put in some eggs, milk, and cheese. I also put in flour, chicken, soda, sugar, ground beef, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, pasta, salsa, and salad. I actually grabbed a lot of different stuff so that we could eat whatever we wanted. Then on Billy demand we went over to junk food aisle and got chips, cookies, and candies. Then we had to get more beer by the time we got to check out the cart was completely full.

"Total is 174.48," The cashier whispered.

He shot a glance at me and then at Kevin, Joe, and Billy. I gulped at the total as Billy growled low in his throat. The kid who had been before looking at me in an almost come-hither way paled.

"The fuck?" Billy demanded.

"Billy," I sighed.

"And they think what we fuckin do is illegal," Joe muttered

"Here," I replied handing the cashier the money.

"Here's your change," The cashier winked.

I rolled my eyes taking the change before my eyes landed on the receipt. There was a number written in sharpie on the top. My dark green eyes darkened as I looked at the cashier that was the same age as me. Or so it looked.

"Mads?" Kevin asked.

I wordlessly slipped the receipt to Kevin who looked at it before growling in annoyance.

"You little brat," Kevin seethed

"Hey, man, it's not my fault she's hot," The cashier shrugged.

"Billy!" I squeaked

Billy had shoved me backwards and grabbed the front of the kid's shirt dragging him so that he was leaning against counter.

"That's my little sister," Billy warned.

"I-I-I-I'm sorry," The kid stuttered.

"And that's my fucking girlfriend," Kevin hissed

"Guys, really, not a big deal," I groaned prying Billy's gargantuan hands off the terrified cashier.

Billy laid of the guy aggressively shoving our cart of the grocery store Kevin and Joe followed out of him while I stayed in front of the cashier, who despite everything was smirking,

"That was a dumb fucking move," I grumbled. "Oh, and by the way, that was Billy Darley."

The kid once again paled while I smirked in return strutting out of the grocery store. The groceries were in the back of the mustang mixed in with the guns. I smiled one domestic moment would always and forever get a Darley spin.


	6. Rising Tensions

**Chapter Six: Rising Tensions**

"_Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it whoever you are, you need one."_

It had been a week since I had been put under lockdown. The threats were still out there or so Billy said. Thus I was still on restriction. Today it was Joe's turn. Wasn't that just adorable? Billy had worked out a fucking schedule!

"I don't even know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it," Joe proclaimed lounging on his bed as I changed into normal clothes instead of the ones I slept in.

"You wear pants, don't you?" I retorted.

Joe's eyes darkened as he glared at me as I just smirked shrugging a tee shirt over my head. I was wearing a tee shirt that bared my stomach slightly and jeans. I walked through our bedroom and into the kitchen grabbing a bar of chocolate for breakfast. Joe came out a few minutes later slapping me sharply upside the head. I smacked him hard in the stomach. Why did Billy have to be the one who called the shots? Was he completely delusional? Joe and I couldn't be around each other for more then eight hours before we started fighting.

I was starting to go stir crazy in this freaking apartment. The only time I was allowed out was when everyone was at the Four Roses and sometimes in broad daylight if I threatened someone.

"Joey!" I whined in a way that only a little sister can.

"Shut up, Maddie," Joe warned.

"Can we do something?" I asked. "Please?"

"No," Joe snapped. "Billy said not to."

"Fuck that!" I grumbled.

"Yeah, you wanna tell him that?" Joe demanded.

"No," I sighed. "But I'm going out of my mind here."

"Too bad, Maddie, we're not going anywhere until Billy get's back," Joe snapped.

"When will he be back?" I asked.

"He said around nine," Joe muttered.

"I'm going to go take a nap," I sighed.

"You just woke up," Joe retorted.

"Not like I have anywhere to go!" I spat.

If Joe was suspicious of me he didn't say anything. Although he really should've. After all the fire exit was in our room. I've climbed in and out of it enough times through my teenage life. After all we had moved into this apartment shortly after Bones had given Billy that cut on his jaw; I was eleven when we moved in here and I was already sneaking out of that window by the time I was thirteen. I was straddling the windowsill just thinking about whether or not this was a good idea. I had my phone, I had my knives, and I had a gun. I hope out the rest of the window gently closing the window so it latched back up. The thing about breaking in and out of the same window for seven years was that I knew that a pocketknife would easily open the window again.

"_And if you even think about giving any one of us the slip you're going to be in so much trouble Juvie will look like cake walk compared to what I'll come up with." Billy threatened._

Fuck! I just had to remember Billy's words now? When I was outside and could see freedom? It had been a week I mean this was just cruel and unusual it couldn't get much worse. But, Billy was creative when it came to punishments. I shuddered not wanting to even think about it. Since Billy had basically raised me he had taken a completely different approach to Bones' smack-ya-everytime-I-feel-like-it way of parenting. Instead there were the typical groundings and chores and stuff. And then my personal favorite: working at the Four Roses where I was watched at all times by Sammy. I had been handcuffed to a railing once as well. I guess it was far to say that I had a little fucking problem with staying still. It was that and the fact that I didn't like rules. Despised them, actually.

I decided that the one place where I wouldn't accidentally run into any members of the MOD would be the mall. I was lucky enough to catch the first bus I saw out of Southie and into center city where a mall was. The one thing I had over all my family was that I could blend into normal situations, they could not. Even with my tattoos no one gave me a second glance. I just happened to make my way into one of the stores, taking a new top and a pair of earrings, making sure that the security tags were disabled. It was then I noticed that someone else was doing that exact same thing and we were both leaving at the same time. When the piercing blast of the security sensor went off I ran in on direction the amateur shoplifter ran the other. Fucking newbie's always causing trouble now I had someone chasing after me.

When I hit the main streets I began walking normally. I had thought I'd gotten away when I heard the small blast of sound from a police cruiser. Okay, maybe it wasn't for me. That can happen, right? I mean I can do one thing and get away with it without my brothers not noticing, right? Oh, who the fuck was I kidding? I really should learn better whenever I wanna pull something I'm always, _always_ caught. It was beginning to get redundant but I just wanted to get out for a little while.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't little Madeleine Darley," One police officer sneered.

I rolled my eyes knowing that these fuckers didn't have to have anything on me for them to hassle me. So, it didn't come as much of a surprise when I was handcuffed and thrown in the back of a cruiser.

I was waiting in one of the holding cells of the local police department just trying to pass the time. My hands were still handcuffed together but at least my feet were free to dangle.

"Darley, your bails been posted," The police officer announced.

"By who?" I demanded.

"Oh we called you house for you when you said you didn't want your one phone call," The officer sneered. "Your brother is here to get you."

I bit my lip in an effort not to punch the cop right in the mouth. Son of a bitch just liked causing trouble. As I walked down the barely lit hallway I noticed the person waiting for me was tall and skinny and had hair. Oh, thank god, it was only Joe.

"You could never do anything you're told to do, can you?" Joe demanded once he saw me.

"I needed some air," I grumbled as the cop unlocked the handcuffs. "I told you that."

"And you were told to stay with us," Joe retorted.

"Like you never broke the rules," I snapped.

"Do you realize how dangerous Billy's rivals are?" Joe yelled.

Most people wouldn't believe it but Joe had a pretty bad temper. It wasn't as destructive as Billy's temper but Joe could be scary enough without having to throw punches. It didn't help that both my brothers could tower over me lending a huge hand to the intimidation thing.

I rolled my eyes at Joe's question. Did he really think that I was that stupid that I didn't realize how dangerous people were. After all I had been walking armory when I had snuck out. Then the stupid cop confiscated it all but I should be getting that all back.

"Ms. Darley, here are your personal effects," The policeman who ran the front desk replied handing me my knives and gun.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Joe's hand latched around the back of my neck leading me back onto the street. He also took my gun and knives. Every time I tired to talk to him he'd cut me off with a growl. I sighed as we walked back to the apartment. I was shoved into the living room as soon as I opened the door.

"If you had just let me walk around for a few minutes," I groaned

"You were told to stay here and not give any of us the slip!" Joe yelled. "I should've known you weren't going back to sleep."

"Yeah, you should've," I couldn't help but smirk.

The look Joe gave me was enough to send a tremor up my spine. I knew he was angry but he knew that despite any warning I might've been given I would go stir crazy being trapped in an apartment. If that was enough I was trapped in the apartment what made it worse was that I could never have a moment to myself. From the very second my eyes opened to the second they shut later that day I was surrounded by MOD. Whether it was just my brothers or Bodie or Kevin I wasn't alone and it was taking its toll. So, yes, once again I disobeyed orders but I had to get away even if it was only an hour.

"Joey, please," I whispered.

"Couldn't you for once do anything we told you to do?" Joe snapped. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry," I snapped. "Please, just don't tell Billy, I won't do it again."

"How many fuckin times have I heard that one before?" Joe barked. "This is your life, Madeleine, you die there are no second chances. We live in that bad part of Boston you can't just walk around especially when there's been threats on us."

"No there are threats on the gang," I retorted quickly. "You know, the one you won't let me be apart of! And now once again it's fuckin with my life and I'm supposed to sit by and just let it happen?"

"Damn straight!" Joe yelled. "Billy lied to you."

"What?" I squeaked.

"One of our messengers got caught in the crossfire, dead before he hit the ground," Joe sighed. "He was killed by them. Why do you think Billy's been so paranoid?"

"Fuck," I whimpered. "How can you guys keep shit like this from me?"

"Excuse me?" Joe snapped. A trance of warning in his tone.

"You heard me!" I shouted. "You guys get pissed when I keep shit from the both of you and you just kept the biggest thing from me!"

"We're trying to protect you!" Joe yelled back.

"Protection would be telling me what I need to know!" I snapped. "I wouldn't have gone out at all if I had known that one of our guys is actually dead!"

"What the fuck do you mean you went out?" Billy growled the front door slamming shut a moment later.

"Billy, I went with her," Joe replied.

"I told you both to fucking stay here!" Billy screamed the vein in his neck throbbing as his face and neck began to turn red. All major warning signs of an imminent explosion.

"Billy we were only out for a few minutes," I soothed.

"Which is why you were arrested?" Billy snapped turning to stare at me.

"That was not my fault," I muttered. "Some newbie set off the sensors and I got fucked."

"And where the fuck where you when our sister was getting arrested?" Billy growled turning to Joe.

"He was walking around making sure we weren't followed," I said.

"You lying to me?" Billy growled.

"No," Joe and I replied.

"I thought I saw someone following behind us so I went after them," Joe muttered. "I didn't think she would get caught by the fucking rent-a-cops."

"Both of you aren't going out anywhere," Billy hissed his narrowed eyes landing on me first and then Joe. "Not until this whole thing gets fucking handled."

"Okay," I sighed.

I walked past Billy into the hallway and went into my room. I looked out of the window before flopping onto my bed. Why did this have to be my life? At least I wasn't in any major trouble due to being arrested. What could I say? My family was fucking twisted. I was on the computer managing the MOD's accounts when Joey came back into our room. Instead of going onto his side he jumped onto my bed.

"Buzz off, Joey," I grumbled while manipulating bank accounts.

"You're lucky I save your ass," Joe growled.

"What, are you gonna hold that over my fucking head now?" I demanded.

"Wouldn't you?" Joe retorted.

"I'm not in the mood for this, Joe," I warned.

"Too fucking bad, I wasn't in the mood for trying to look for your ass," Joe hissed softly.

"I told you I needed to take a walk," I growled. Reaching for a book under my bed.

"And so you end up in the mall and then get fucking arrested?" Joe demanded. "Like this family really needs more attention."

"And all that is my fault?" I scoffed. "Oh, please."

"God, you're so fucking annoying!" Joe snapped.

"You're not really a joy to be around either," I spat.

Joe and I just glared at each other before he pushed me. I growled smacking him over the head with the hard covered book I had in my hand. I knew that Statistics textbook would come in handy eventually. Joe tumbled to the ground a look of surprise on his face as I laughed. Suddenly he latched onto my ankle yanking so that I fell onto the floor as well.

"You're such an asshole!" I gasped as air came rushing out of my lungs.

I rolled over punching Joe in the stomach as he moved to kick me. He let out a grunt as he hit the floor again. I kicked him off of my legs as he struggled to pin me. It didn't last for long somehow he ended up on top of me pinning my knees to the ground under his dead wait. I growled lowly punching him right in the face.

When most siblings fought I knew they tended to avoid the face but that was the first place I was taught to go for anything to bring the enemy down faster. Joe didn't take kindly to getting punched in the face as he backhanded me in the next second. I winced as a flood of pain spread from the point of contact. I grunted as I bucked up knocking him off balance enough to roll over and pin him.

"You're such a brat," Joe wheezed. "Fuckin fat ass."

"Don't take your anger out on me," I hissed. "Just because you haven't seen a vagina since you were born."

"I swear I'm going to fucking kill you," Joe growled smacking me in the stomach hard enough to make my eyes water.

"Ain't nobody ever teach you not to hit girls!" I yelled punching him in the face again.

"I don't see any girls here," Joe retorted. "I just see my pain in the ass little sister who never listens to fucking directions."

"Go fuck yourself," I hissed.

"No," Joe growled. "We try to keep you fucking safe and what do you do? You pull an escape from Alcatraz out of our window!"

"It's not my fault the fire escape is right there," I spat.

Joe growled smacking me in the side before slapping me across the face. I let out a small yelp before burying my fist into his side.

"Couldn't you ever do what you're told?" Joe yelled. "What do you think your death would do to Billy? To me? To Kevin?"

"I'm not going to die!" I yelled. "Except maybe of boredom if I stay here on more fucking day. Fuck B Street! I'm sick of street politics fucking with my life!"

Joe let out a low growl before I suddenly found myself pinned under his dead weight once more. I tried to wiggle free but found myself stuck not that I didn't try.

"What the fuck is going on?" Billy yelled.

Joe jumped off of me standing to his feet and I took the opportunity to knock him back down by kicking his feet out from under him. He fell hard and when he and I went to start fighting all over again Billy grabbed me by the scruff of the neck ripping me away from Joe. I dangled a few feet of the ground my arms crossed over my chest.

"I'll fuckin ask again, what the fuck is going on?" Billy growled.

"He's an asshole," I muttered.

"And she's a pain in my ass," Joe retorted.

"What the hell were you two yelling about?" Billy demanded. "And damn, Joey, she got you good."

"She hit me with a fucking book," Joe growled.

"And he punched me," I whined.

"You deserved it, fucking smartass," Joe retorted.

"Would you two cut it out?" Billy ordered. "Fuck!"

"Can you let me go?" I asked.

Billy grumbled something about little sisters before dropping me back on my feet.

"You two better not be keeping shit for me," Billy warned. "Because I'll find out sooner or later."

Joe and I just looked at each other before looking away. For all that we were irrigated with one another we weren't snitches. Billy then informed us that he had ordered pizza and it would be arriving soon. I knew that most people should be jealous of the Darley family. We eat nothing but junk and we are healthy and in the case of Joey and I rail-thin. I think I only occasionally eat something green. It wasn't like we could really afford it all the time. But so was the life of the Darley family. And god knows what Bones' ate. Thankfully none of us had gotten any of his genes; only his characteristics. None of them were good but at least we got the job done.


	7. Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace

**Chapter Seven: Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace**

"_We tell ourselves there's nothing to fear but sometimes, we're wrong."_

The tension had been steadily mounting since I had smacked Joey in the head with that textbook. He was still pissed at me and Billy was suspicious of the both of us. Bones was still an asshole causing Billy's stress levels to rise until he was being a dick to absolutely everyone. Add to the fact that I couldn't even go anywhere to completely avoid Billy and we had a dangerous situation on our hands. Three Darley's stuck in a small apartment and you knew things would get getting a lot worse before they got better.

"Get up, Maddie," Billy ordered one morning yelling at me from the doorway.

"No," I grumbled.

"You have five minutes," Billy warned.

I heard him move down the hallway as I settled back into my bed. I wasn't in the mood to wake up and I sure as hell didn't see the point because it wasn't like I'd be going anywhere. I accidently fell back asleep and only realized what a bad idea that was when I heard the combat boots back in my room seconds before my mattress, with me on it, was flipped to the floor.

"Asshole," I muttered.

"That was ten minutes," Billy growled. "You're welcome."

I crawled out from under my mattress kicking the stupid thing out of my way as I went to my closet to get dressed. I emerged from my room ten minutes later in a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans.

"There a reason why I'm up this early?" I demanded as I looked from Joe to Billy.

"You're coming with us today," Billy replied.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see," Billy shrugged. "Go eat something."

I walked to the pantry snagging a protein bar before sitting on the chair on Billy's left because Joe was on his right. I took a moment to look at Joe and noted, with some small surge of satisfaction that he had a small bruise by his cheek from where the statistics book had smacked him. I wasn't without my bruises too.

Five minutes later we were walking towards the mustang. I got into the back as Joe moved the passenger seat back and sat down. Once Billy was seated he started the car flooring it out of the parking lot. Suddenly I knew we were going and I sighed deeply.

"We're going to the office?" I snorted. I leaned up resting my arms and my head in the space in between Billy and Joe.

"You wanted to get out so badly," Billy replied.

"Billy, it stinks in there," I couldn't help but whine.

"Shut it, Madeleine," Billy ordered sharply. "You went in there without my permission and now you'll be spending the morning there."

I frowned at the back of my oldest brother's head. Figures that he'd use reverse psychology to teach me a lesson. The lesson? If I didn't sneak in here when I wasn't supposed to I wouldn't be forced to go there now. And the other reason was the fact that Joe probably told Billy that I wouldn't stop whining about not being able to get out judging by the way Joe was smirking. Oh, I'd get him for this.

"Get out of the car, Maddie," Billy ordered ten minutes later. The car was parked in the back of the abandoned mental institution otherwise known as 'the office'.

I got of the car and walked with my brothers through the front door and down one of the hallways to the first meth lab. Most of the gang was sitting around waiting while Bodie and Tommy worked on the drugs. Everyone stopped what they were doing when Billy came through the door.

"You go to the chapel," Billy growled pointing at me. "Joe, go with her."

"Why do I got to baby sit her again?" Joe whined.

"Shut up," I growled.

"No, you shut up," Joe retorted. "This is all your fucking fault."

"My fault?" I scoffed. "You're the one who…"

"Enough!" Billy shouted. "Both of you go, now!"

I glared before turning on my heel and walking towards the stairs that would lead to the chapel. Joe caught up to me quickly and smacked me upside the head in the process.

"I'll kill you, Joey," I warned.

"Try it, little girl."

By that time I was already on the stairs while Joe was about to start climbing them. Without hesitation I leapt off the stairs and onto my brother unsuspecting back. He slammed into the ground with me on top of him.

"I'm going to murder you!" Joe yelled grabbing my wrists and using the momentum to slam me to the floor so that he was on top of me. I squirmed in the position trying to get him off of me but it wasn't working. The sound of glass breaking down the hall distracted Joe long enough so that I could slip one of my wrist's out of his grip and punch him right in the eye.

"God damn it!" Joey snapped punching me in the side before hitting me hard on the cheek.

"Get off me!" I shouted.

"Don't start things you can't finish!" Joe retorted.

"You're such a fucking pain in the ass!" I groaned.

"Me?" Joe scoffed. "At least I follow fucking directions once in a while."

"Bullshit," I hissed. "You're worse then I am most of the time."

"Fuck you!" Joe snarled.

"Aw, Joey, I thought you had to pay people for that," I retorted bucking up suddenly throwing him right over my head and down the hallway.

He got up after a few attempts glaring at me all the while. He leaned against a wall gathering his breath before speaking, "You know what, Madeleine?" Joe growled. "I'm done. You're fucking pain in the ass and no one has ever wanted you around."

"That right?" I shouted.

"Yeah, that's right!" Joe snapped. "You do nothing but get in our way."

"Well, jeez, Joey, if that's the way you feel then I'll get out of your fucking hair!" I growled.

Joe's eyes widened in surprise before they became a dare. "You wouldn't."

"Joe, you might be my older brother but you don't know shit about me," I shrugged. "Oh, speaking of which, I'll be taking this."

I held up a wad of money before slamming my way out of the office and down the stairs. I heard Joe shouting at me to come back but I didn't listen walking away as fast as my legs could carry me. A half hour later and I was nearly home my phone rang for fiftieth time and unlike the other times I actually picked up the phone.

"What?" I spat.

"Maddie, please come back," Joe whispered.

"Why ya whispering, Joe?" I taunted. "They don't know you fucked up?"

"Madeleine!" Joe warned.

"What do you want from me, Joe?" I demanded. "Just leave me alone."

"Well, well, well, can little Darley came out to play," A man's voice drawled from behind me.

I didn't react in time to an arm wrapping around my throat and pulling me into an alleyway. Meanwhile Joey was yelling into the phone that was still attached to my ear. The man pushed me in a wall pinning me there while he snatched my phone from my hand.

"Hello?" The man snickered. "Yeah, sorry, buddy boy, but you won't be seeing your sister for a while. She's gonna be a little busy riding my cock."

"Joey!" I shouted.

"Shut your mouth, bitch!" The man ordered backhanding me across the face.

I narrowed my eyes and kicked the person in the balls. I then kicked him again in the stomach before punching him in the throat. I heard a muffled choking noise before I ran out of the alley and down the street. A minute or two later I heard someone running behind me. I knew instantly that this was one of the up and comers running Ninth Street. Suddenly I heard the one sound I was praying for the roar of a mustang. It drove by me before swerving in front of me. I ripped open the door and jumped inside.

"GO!" I shouted.

"God, Maddie," Joe grunted as I landed full in his lap as someone hit the gas. I took the moment to straighten myself and saw, much to my relief, that it was Bodie in the driver's seat.

"Oh, thank god," I muttered.

"There will be no god where you're going, baby girl," Bodie sighed. "Billy's gonna kill you."

"Why'd you have to tell him?" I grumbled.

"He hit you in the head?" Joe demanded. "The guy said we were never gonna see you again. Of course I'm gonna tell him. Jesus Christ, Maddie."

"He didn't say ever again," I retorted. "He said that you wouldn't see me in a while."

"Maddie, just shut up," Joe responded.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms huffing in response. I shifted around on my brother's lap and he wrapped his arms around my waist whenever Bodie took the turns too sharply. The trip went far too quickly as soon we were in the apartment complex. I got out of the car first and then waited for Bodie and Joe. Joe was leaning against the edge of the car as Bodie came around to join us.

"What happened to you, dog?" Bodie asked.

"What do you mean?" Joe responded.

Bodie pointed at Joe's shirt and Joe looked down seeing that the top of his jeans and the bottom of his shirt was covered in blood.

"What the fuck?" Joe growled.

Before anyone could answer Bodie and Joe turned to me and this time I looked down. It was my blood that coated my brother.

"Oh, god," Joe groaned.

"Madeleine Rose Darley!" Billy howled. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"You're bleeding," Joe whispered.

"Dude," Bodie soothed.

I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and looked at my side. There was a wound on my side that was bleeding pretty profusely but I couldn't figure out what it was.

"He shot at you?" Joe demanded.

"I didn't hear anything," I responded.

"You stupid little brat!" Billy snapped. "He used a fucking silencer!"

Tears filled my eyes but I refused to let them fall as I set my jaw and jutted out my chin.

"Billy, she needs a hospital," Bodie scolded. "She's lost a lot of blood."

"She needs her ass kicked," Billy fumed a hard hand latching on to my bicep.

"You can kick her ass later," Bodie responded. "She needs to get this looked at."

"Get into the fucking car, Madeleine," Billy ordered shoving me forward.

I sighed getting back into the car as Billy had ordered. The drive to the hospital was short and not so sweet. Billy kept glaring at me through the rearview mirror and Joe kept shaking his head until Billy smacked him and I snickered. I pulled through the ER by both Billy and Joe before coming to the stop at the nurse's station.

"We need a doctor," Joe growled.

"Fill out this paper work and a doctor will be with you as soon as one becomes available," The nurse replied without looking up.

Billy slammed his hand down on the desk startling me, the nurse, and a dozen other people. The nurse then looked up with round horror filled eyes.

"I suggest a doctor becomes available before I give you another hole to fucking breath through!" Billy hissed whispering harshly so only the nurse could hear.

She paled dramatically before poking a few buttons. The next thing I know I was sitting on an examination table swinging my legs so it banged against the metal every few seconds. I did that until Billy smacked my thigh hard.

"Stop."

I scowled at him rubbing at the sore spot but stopping all the while. The doctor chose a few minutes later and started poking and prodding at the wound before finally stitching it closed. I rolled my eyes as I kept my out of the way. When it was done the doctor cleaned it again before giving me a lecture about how girls shouldn't play with guns. At least that was the lecture to the story that we told as a cover. We were on our way home when Billy decided to speak again.

"I'm gonna fucking rip his lungs out!" Billy seethed. "And then I'm going to fucking kill you! You do not walk around alone!"


End file.
